1 definition by th3sp3c1al1st
A lead guitar player who plays badly, loudly, and repetitively, on a blues or pentatonic scale. A Guitar Wanker uses distortion to cover up a lack of skill and creativity. Guitar Wankers have no idea how to structure a solo, so they jerk around mindlessly and endlessly, until the rest of the band decides to shut them up. Although there are a few rare Guitar Wankers (Clapton, Prince, Santana) who are capable of wanking without being totally boring, Guitar Wankers generally have no structural knowledge of music. Guitar Wankers generally try to copy these players, but they can't distinguish between their own playing and the good stuff. Unlike lead jazz guitarists, who can noodle around without being obnoxious, Guitar Wankers never listen to whatever the rest of the band is doing. Guitar Wankers are always convinced of their own brilliance and talent. In truth, a Guitar Wanker lacks craft and taste, so they can only produce self-interested masturbatory noise.
Ace Frehley: I can't even read notes. But I can teach someone how to make a guitar smoke.
Interviewer: Maybe you should have burned your guitar and learned to read notes, you Guitar Wanker.
Interviewer: Maybe you should have burned your guitar and learned to read notes, you Guitar Wanker.
by th3sp3c1al1st July 25, 2019