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Greetings 

Greetings, friend!

Greetings 

Used by many beings, including aliens and abnormal people. Used to say hello, while confusing the other person, normally into silence.
-Greetings
-WTF?

-Greetings
-and you are?
Greetings by Dragon MkII July 24, 2004

Greetings and Salutations 

β€œFUK YUWH”
πŸ–•πŸΌ
πŸ’₯πŸ”«
✊🏼🩸
"Greetings and Salutations"
"hi Just Diggie"

secret greetings 

Said in a low quiet voice whilst you mabate. Your hand must be playing pocket pull or else it is no longer secretive. This phrase is derived from greetings, a popular slogan of slick hipster, Mr. Dente.
"SECRET GREETINGS" splat!
~OR~
"I played secret greetings while the music teacher played a movie in class," said C. S.

Greetings 

A person gives a classical greeting to a hip crowd to be funny.
Greetings Bretheren what up with thee.
Greetings by Sun Rhythms October 13, 2004

Greetings from London 

A cordial way of saying who gives a fuck, fuck off, or shut the fuck up. This expression is particularly useful in online conversations or when you need to silence someone in their tracks.
Jack: So let me tell you what I did today. I fed my cat, polished my shoes, bought a new hat, but I still didn't get any work done on my damn--

Greg: Greetings from London!

Jack: Sorry about that.