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Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.
Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.

People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.
by Brett319 June 17, 2008
Mental deficiency characterized by stumbling speech, disconnection with reality, and unrestrained ego, yet behavior which is accepted by at most 50% of the population.
George W. Bush is functionally retarded.
by John Manyjars June 20, 2008