1) What that fat lying rastafarian biotch Miss Cleo used to promise on her scam-based commercials, when the call was really $4.99/min.
2) The bottom-barrel bargain bin at the swap meet/bookstore.
1) How ya doin', me babies? *takes a doobie puff* call me now for ya free readin.
2) Customer: "Where can I find a copy of the December 1957 edition of 'Reader's Digest'?"
Store clerk, not giving a damn: "Try the free reading shelf, jackass."