flatucate 

To simultaneously fart and shit at the same time. Typically occurs during periods of monsoon-like diarreah.

Tina flatucated and is now minus one pair of clean panties.

flatucate by Tim December 19, 2004

FLATULATER 

FLATULATER is a person who flatulates a L O T - E V E N WHEN HE/SHE IS, OR A P P E A R E D to be, DEEPLY asleep.

See you later FLATULATER!

FLATULATER by FABARM November 20, 2018

Flatwater Kayak 

A suicidal sport based on racing tippy boats down flat water including, but not limited to, lakes and gorges. Most sprint athletes train through the winter without all that much clothing, layering what they do wear oddly in haste or desperation for warmth. Sprint kayakers are often considered to be rowers' slow cousin and whitewaters' wimpy sister, but in reality alot of pain and guts goes into the sport.

Most clubs share training grounds with rowers and have develloped an intense rivalry with them. Sprint kayakers have to remain fit not just for overall speed but also to fit in the thin boats. New kayakers frequently capsize, and to avoid this they might stear clear of using seats, which brings them lower to the water's surface and improves balance. Many boats use tall spikes to hold seats in place, and as many clubs are fairly poor many boats lack footboards (a board that kayakers use with steering and legdrive) so athletes occasionally have to deal with extreme discomfort. The sport is embaressing if you're caught in public in winter gear, or if you capsize during a regatta on a popular lake. This sport is not to be confused with recreational kayaking; recreational kayaks do well on rough waters while sprint boats are brutal in the wind.

1)
Brad: "Hey, Keith, check out that freaky chick with the layered spandex!"
Keith: "Haha, I hear she kayaks or something, who does that in the winter, she must be crazy!"
2)
Leslie: "Hey, kayaker! Having trouble keeping up with us shells?" (shells referring to rowing boats)
Andrea: "Hey, rower! Having trouble identifying that whale you're heading straight towards?"
3)
Oscar: "Yo, sprint is whitewater's gimped sis, man!"
Tory: "Oh yeah, I forgot that it's wimpy to risk hypothermia 6 months of the year while pulling 200 pounds with my arms and abs."
4)
Gregory: "God, it's sooooo cold out, and I have to walk home from the bus!"
Calvin: "Yeah, I have to go kayak until 7:00."
Gregory: "Serious, man? Are you crazy?"
Calvin: "Nah, just a wee bit suicidal."

FLATWATER KAYAK OWNS

Flatwater Kayak by lolCKClol November 20, 2009

flatubate

The art of masturbating while enveloped in a self inflicted Dutch Oven. Often done on cold, lonely nights when you couldn't even score with the leftover fatties at the pub. After twelve pints of Guinness and 2am Taco Bell, flatubating is an obvious way to regain some dignity after failing to score. The added benefit is that it's cheaper than buying condoms or cologne. You're having sex with someone you already know. And who doesn't enjoy the smell of their own farts?

"Dude, even that fat ugly chick turned me down. I'm gonna load up on Pintos and Cheese, go home and flatubate in my own king size bed."

flatubate by Bugsy McDingle January 11, 2012

flaturbate 

To fart while masturbating.

Last night I flaturbated and it ruined my good time.

flaturbate by K@ E. June 20, 2007

Flatuvate 

The act of lifting at least one butt cheek to pass gas.

I know it was that dude over there that farted - I saw him flatuvate.

Flatuvate by Uncle Pervee April 17, 2010

flatulatory rape 

Exposing an individual or group to a fart in a situation from which the victim(s) cannot easily escape. The most well-know example is the classic dutch oven technique, wherein one pulls bedcovers over the intended victim. Also applies in elevators, moving vehicles, and other confined spaces.

We were riding with Howard and he unleashed an epic ass cloud in the car. I thought I was gonna die.

Didn't you roll down the window?

Nah, Howard locked the power windows.

Man, that's straight-up flatulatory rape!

flatulatory rape by secretdonkey2 December 1, 2011