The kind of severe injury that results from taking a piss under a shady tree, and accidentally fart, thereby causing a dead branch to fall off the tree and hit you in the penis. (Usually this only happens to male type people because women don't piss against trees very often. Also most of them don't have penises, just penis envy). Not the kind of woody most guys would choose.
Doctor: I'm sorry, son, you've got the worst case of fartwizzleshadyplonkouch I've seen. We'll have to operate.