Faux Defecation 

When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.

(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation

Faux Defecation by gingyman January 9, 2010

anti-defecation league 

An organization dedicated to protecting non-terrorists who find themselves on government shit-lists.

Now that I have unfairly been added to a gubmint shit-list, the only place I can look for help from is the Anti-Defecation League.

anti-defecation league by LaughingAloud August 18, 2017

Defamation 

Using slanderous speech to attack one’s reputation and career

Defamation does not include:
-Telling T-Series to hold their defacation
-T-Series can eat a dick
-Suck my fuckin’ swedish meatballs
-Did you know that Indians have poo-poo in their brains?

Defamation by StillNotDefamation April 1, 2019

anti-defamation league 

An organization that once fought bigotry, now taken over by insane social justice warriors. The ADL is responsible for hilariously declaring the OK symbol to be a racist symbol for white power.

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) recently claimed the OK symbol means white power. Next week maybe they'll declare that a thumbs up means send all non-whites up to the moon.

anti-defamation league by Grandmaster Mac October 3, 2019

Defecation of character 

Defecation of character is what happens when someone shits on your name in a public forum.

You: "Oh, man! Brittany just called me a ho on Facebook because I said I liked her crush."

Your friend: "Wow, that's defecation of character."

Defecation of character by gingermom September 29, 2009

defevacation 

1: (n) A vacation taken in the form of a long and relaxing shit. Usually refers to one who has disappeared at their place of employment while still on the clock.

BOB: Hmmm. Has anyone seen our co-worker Wally in the last hour or so?

MIKE: No but I saw him head into the shitter quite awhile ago. He must be on defevacation.

defevacation by Mike and Wally May 17, 2004

post-defecation euphoria 

The unbridled joy experienced by a domestic house cat following a bowel movement. Often leads to abnormal playfulness and spurts of energy. Humans can experience this phenomenon, but the human response is more internalized.

The cat woke me up last night darting back and forth down the hallway. I'm guessing it was post-defecation euphoria. Can't blame the guy.

post-defecation euphoria by doublepepperoni August 17, 2012