I never like to throw parties because people lose your shit. Hey Where's my mom?-Dane Cook
Ummm, I Broke your refrigerator door, I don't know how-Dane COok
She gave me a kiss and before i knew it she said UHHHHHHH-Dane Cook
These are all from Insomiac Tour
Uh... could it be because people piss on the floor and wash their hands aggressively?
dude: it's the sufi. You know.... Dane Cook.
guy: Who?...oh right that guy. (pause) I hate that I know you.
Retarded audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That Dane Cook.....