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cryptoecotheocracy 

A form of government similar to ecofascism which is run by ecofascists for ecofascists at the exclusion of non watermelons, motivated by quasi-religious Gaia worshipping with the task of preventing an imagined future ecological catastrophe via mandatory human sacrifice, secretly controlled by a green-left oligarch, whilst consistently pretending to the public that it is a reasonable capitalist democracy and that any contrary accusation must be hysterical conspiracy theory.

Signs of cryptoecotheocracy include:
* corporate greenwashing driven by the desire to appear friendly to a cryptoecotheocratic government, whereas an admitted ecotheocracy would see through the greenwashing and make obvious interventions.
* imposing taxes of greenhouse gas emissions based on an unscientific rationale whilst pretending further progress in climate science is either not occurring or not needed.
* government propaganda which glorifies the required sacrifices whilst insisting the "science is settled", whereas an admitted ecotheocracy has no need of science and a democracy has no need of propaganda.
* an officially non-Greens government which in practice cannot pass legislation without Green Left support.

Since the combination of duplicity and scientific ignorance that creates a cryptoecotheocracy cannot be sustained for much more than a decade, a cryptoecotheocracy is likely to rapidly evolve into one of three different political systems: ecotheocracy, democracy, or a Green State.
1. The government of the UK has been a cryptoecotheocracy since the EU took over around May 2003.
"The EU under the influence of its dominant Greens is progressively adopting policies that will trammel its industry and drive its economy into the ground."

2. The government of Australia became a cryptoecotheocracy on 12 Oct 2011.
"I have with me a rather weighty document. It is all of the submissions given to the carbon tax inquiry, but that were knocked back by the carbon tax inquiry. Some 4½ thousand people who sought to have their say were simply ruled as correspondents only."
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cryptolexiconis orgasmia 

Someone who gets off on using big complicated words or esoteric terminology.
Bob tries to sound like he's smart, but he really isn't. He suffers from cryptolexiconis orgasmia.

cryptolectrology 

>n. 1a. the study of loose change, car keys and television remotes. b. the collected ephemera and shiznit of such study. 2. a small mess of random objects; a miscellany. >Also, cryptolectrologist n., cryptolectrologer n., cryptolectrological adj.
(from Greek kruptos ‘hidden’ + lektron ‘couch’)
Your honour, I should now like to call upon my expert witness, world-renowned crytpolectrologist and trampoline instructor Dr. Finbarr Beauchamp-Stoat, who will testify that the empty chip packet was not that of my client...
cryptolectrology by Tama Boyle February 11, 2005

cryptolexiconis orgasmia 

n. the condition of, or pertaining to; getting off on using big complicated words or esoteric terminology. Related: n. acrylogia.
If you enjoy using "brusquely" in a sentence , you may suffer from cryptolexiconis orgasmia.

cryptovestor 

A Cryptovestor is a person that allocates capital with the expectation of a future financial return. Types of investments are strictly cryptocurrencies and everything envoled within and around cryptocurrency.

A cryptocurrency (or crypto currency) is a digital asset designed to work as a medium of exchange that uses cryptography to secure its transactions, to control the creation of additional units, and to verify the transfer of assets.

-Diego Batista
He made his millions as a cryptovestor, he became a Bitcoin millionaire over night.
cryptovestor by BelaCor Inv Grp January 9, 2018

cryptovestor 

A Cryptovestor is a person that allocates capital with the expectation of a future financial return. Types of investments are strictly cryptocurrencies and everything envoled within and around cryptocurrency.

A cryptocurrency (or crypto currency) is a digital asset designed to work as a medium of exchange that uses cryptography to secure its transactions, to control the creation of additional units, and to verify the transfer of assets.
He is a cryptovestor, making his millions in bitcoin over night.
cryptovestor by BelaCor Inv Grp January 9, 2018

Cryptoloot 

Money, but it's not real, because it's in cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Ethereum, Dogecoin...
Now that I quit my job I've just been smoking weed, coding, and making cryptoloot.
Cryptoloot by Mr Modulus May 2, 2018