A noun which is a similie for the term 'pussy' thus meaning the female gentalia. Or, to be blunt, the vagina. Its existence owes itself to the somehow holey and spongy nature of the vagina. It can be used both factually and in slang.
"Her crumpet was perfectly healthy, despite her concerns."
"Lads, I'm on the hunt for some crumpet tonight"
"Lads, I'm on the hunt for some crumpet tonight"
by KiwiGarlic123 September 12, 2014
by Captn Luke February 26, 2007
1 ~ Im guna punch you right in the crumpet
2 ~ Im guna kick the crap out of your crumpet
3 ~ I want to munch on your crumpet
2 ~ Im guna kick the crap out of your crumpet
3 ~ I want to munch on your crumpet
by GashPash February 10, 2010
A Small sea creature resembling a shrimp, but covered in fur. They are extremely posh and trendy as house hold pets on the island of Fiji, and as a result are near extinction.
Girl1: Did you dontate to the save the Crumpet campaign?Girl2: Shut up Bitch! I eat crumpets for breakfast. Delish!
by the triple threat gang March 21, 2008
by Captn Luke February 27, 2007
The meaning of this word is often mis-understood in the British Isles. Instead of meaning an attractive woman, it in fact means the polar opposite.
A Crumpet is in fact a horrifically ugly mess of a woman, who bares some similarities to a Crumpet. E.G: A cratered face, A greasy face, A short rounded physique. A Crumpet is in fact a woman, who a man should never touch with a bargepole. If a man does 'Eat a Crumpet,' he should lose all respect and all social status.
A Crumpet is in fact a horrifically ugly mess of a woman, who bares some similarities to a Crumpet. E.G: A cratered face, A greasy face, A short rounded physique. A Crumpet is in fact a woman, who a man should never touch with a bargepole. If a man does 'Eat a Crumpet,' he should lose all respect and all social status.
Example 1.
Male #1: *Wretches* Look at that mess on the other side of the road!
Male #2: What a crumpet. I'd never spread my butter on that.
Example 2.
Male #1: *Wakes up in unfamiliar bedroom. Looks at the woman lay in bed next to him. Instantly thinks 'What a filthy crumpet!' He then legs it to the nearest exit.*
Male #1: *Wretches* Look at that mess on the other side of the road!
Male #2: What a crumpet. I'd never spread my butter on that.
Example 2.
Male #1: *Wakes up in unfamiliar bedroom. Looks at the woman lay in bed next to him. Instantly thinks 'What a filthy crumpet!' He then legs it to the nearest exit.*
by BorisJohnson April 7, 2011
The act of a man stuffing his junk into the mouth of another person and then proceeding to poop on that persons face.
by thecrumpetdeveloper November 16, 2010