A romantic novel that consists of 80% sex scenes and 20% story. Geared towards women, these are the equivalent of internet porn for men and can include romantic encounters of many sub genres including contemporary, historical, science fiction and paranormal. Usually are cheap, paperback, and found in mass at local supermarkets and drugstores, or in the hands of the middle aged woman on the bus.
The hypocritical thing about it, is that my girlfriend hates that I would watch porn, but she is never without one of her crotch burner books.
by killerapt December 03, 2013
A laptop computer that does not dissipate heat terribly well, causing discomfort in the lap or crotch of the user.
The new PowerBooks are extremely fast but unfortunately that makes them terrible crotch burners.
by Shalroth May 15, 2005
A company that specializes in laser hair removal.
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, I have an appointment with the crotch burners.
by SmokingJacket December 06, 2010

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