The person with whom you share an office who constantly (pick one or several): clears his throat, shares all the minutest details of her boring existence, publicly agonizes over the smallest of decisions (often goes with previous quality), mosturizes his hands every five minutes, adjusts her clothes or hair every three minutes, or talks/laughs too loudly and too often.
Annoying coworker: "I just can't decide whether or not to attend my boyfriend's step-grandmother's funeral."
Me: "Were you close to her?"
A.C.: "I've only met her once about a year ago."
Me: "Was her death sudden?"
A.C.: "She's been battling cancer for three years now."
Me: "I wouldn't go."
A.C. (turns to other coworker in the room): "Should I go to my boyfriend's step-grandmother's funeral? I really think his family would appreciate me going."
Me: "Then why don't you go?"
A.C.: "Oh, I'm just not sure if my boyfriend wants me to go or not."
Me: "Why don't you ask him?"
A.C.: "Oh, I can't do that!"
...and on and on and on...
Me: "Were you close to her?"
A.C.: "I've only met her once about a year ago."
Me: "Was her death sudden?"
A.C.: "She's been battling cancer for three years now."
Me: "I wouldn't go."
A.C. (turns to other coworker in the room): "Should I go to my boyfriend's step-grandmother's funeral? I really think his family would appreciate me going."
Me: "Then why don't you go?"
A.C.: "Oh, I'm just not sure if my boyfriend wants me to go or not."
Me: "Why don't you ask him?"
A.C.: "Oh, I can't do that!"
...and on and on and on...
by Numerica October 24, 2006
Similar to the Friend Zone, the coworker zone is a lonely state you find yourself in after your attempts to initiate an outside-of-work friendship with a coworker are rejected. Can also be used as a verb – to be "coworker zoned" is to be denied friendship by a coworker, thereby placing you in the coworker zone.
I asked Charles if he wanted to hang out and work on the project some time, but he totally missed the point that I wanted to hang out and just said he wasn't really interested in working on the project. He totally put me in the coworker zone.
by Perceptes September 14, 2012
A grading scale of coworker hotness that tends to form after weeks, months, or years of working among the same individuals. Based on the coworker curve, the least ugliest becomes the hottest and the ugliest becomes the least hottest.
The coworker curve has similar effects as beer goggles. It no longer relies on common sense standards of hotness and sex appeal. For most it happens subconsciously, you'll walk into a workplace for the first time and see all 2's and 5's (out of 10), and months later you'll find yourself checking out that same 5 as if they were a 9. Or even worse, you start bringing that fugly beat to parties and showing them off to your friends.
The coworker curve has similar effects as beer goggles. It no longer relies on common sense standards of hotness and sex appeal. For most it happens subconsciously, you'll walk into a workplace for the first time and see all 2's and 5's (out of 10), and months later you'll find yourself checking out that same 5 as if they were a 9. Or even worse, you start bringing that fugly beat to parties and showing them off to your friends.
Coworker: I thought Sally was pretty ugly when I first started working here, but after a few months..... she's actually pretty cute.
Me: Yea, she's cute based on the coworker curve , but uglier than shit in real life.
Me: Yea, she's cute based on the coworker curve , but uglier than shit in real life.
by MrValentin0 December 1, 2016
Pretty much the brother of the friend zone, but indeed worse. She only wants to socialize with you at work. Say goodbye to any plans that you might've had with her, because she won't be seen with you unless it's at work.
Billy: I've tried to set plans up with her outside of work, but she never comes through. She agrees to while we're working together, but then she leaves me in the dark afterwards
John: You, my friend, have just been thrown into "The Coworker Zone".
John: You, my friend, have just been thrown into "The Coworker Zone".
by Brandon Antione July 28, 2015
Oh my god, my stupid coworker kathy is a complete MORON! She should go jump off a bridge into a deep lake of acid.
by youreadumbass January 30, 2009
When, in a group discourse with a boss, the boss switches subjects and speaks to a single member of the group about which you (and/or the others) have no understanding. Consequently, unwilling to awkwardly leave, one must bear being caught in the crossfire of the two conversing thereby becoming conversational deadweight.
Eric: "So coworker 1 and I have wrapped up the webpage summary"
Boss: Good
Boss (To coworker 1):Did you get that report on the budget for next quarter?
Coworker 1: Yeh but I had a problem with ...
(Eric, having no purpose in the conversation, stands silent in front of the bosses desk)
Later on: "Dude, I just had to bear 10 minutes of Coworker Crossfire in the bosses office"
Boss: Good
Boss (To coworker 1):Did you get that report on the budget for next quarter?
Coworker 1: Yeh but I had a problem with ...
(Eric, having no purpose in the conversation, stands silent in front of the bosses desk)
Later on: "Dude, I just had to bear 10 minutes of Coworker Crossfire in the bosses office"
by AuzzyAus July 22, 2009
The person in every office who thinks that the most obscure, uninteresting personal details of their sad, sad, lives is of the utmost of importance to all those who work within walking distance of their office. Often interested in Macintosh, Kiss collectibles, and Perms.
by Binary Jay August 13, 2004