|1.||Insufferable Attention Coworker|
The coworker in the office next to you that constantly feels the need to "one up" you with all types of vain and material possessions. He/She is attempting to fill the void in his/her life and simply cannot even mask the desperate attempt for attention
Insufferable Attention Coworker- "How was your Christmas? Torie bought me a $600 Northface jacket; this is my fourth"
Insufferable Attention Coworker-"Have you seen my new diamond ring? I just got it from my Husband. It's like yours but bigger."
|2.||Driving a coworker home|
When you are out at night with a coworker of the opposite sex & end up driving them home & somehow magically wake up in their bed the next morning.
Dan ended his night last night by driving a coworker home. He drove Sarah home from the bar last night. I went to pick up Dan this morning to play golf & he wasn't at his apt. Instead, he was at Sarah's from the night before and she was making him pancakes.
The person with whom you share an office who constantly (pick one or several): clears his throat, shares all the minutest details of her boring existence, publicly agonizes over the smallest of decisions (often goes with previous quality), mosturizes his hands every five minutes, adjusts her clothes or hair every three minutes, or talks/laughs too loudly and too often.
Annoying coworker: "I just can't decide whether or not to attend my boyfriend's step-grandmother's funeral."
Me: "Were you close to her?"
A.C.: "I've only met her once about a year ago."
Me: "Was her death sudden?"
A.C.: "She's been battling cancer for three years now."
Me: "I wouldn't go."
A.C. (turns to other coworker in the room): "Should I go to my boyfriend's step-grandmother's funeral? I really think his family would appreciate me going."
Me: "Then why don't you go?"
A.C.: "Oh, I'm just not sure if my boyfriend wants me to go or not."
Me: "Why don't you ask him?"
A.C.: "Oh, I can't do that!"
...and on and on and on...
A phrase uttered by someone to a coworker at the point when office drama, client bullshit and other things which should really have no impact on ones life moves from a point of concern to the point of amusement.
Worker: My client is an imbecile. Why did we sell this dumb deal - jeez, I want to get out of here today.
Coworker: Work Shmurk
Someone who is told how to follow business code over and over again yet still seems to fuck up.
Oh my god, my stupid coworker kathy is a complete MORON! She should go jump off a bridge into a deep lake of acid.
A cross between humming and muttering usually performed by your nearest coworker.
Dave couldn't concentrate while his coworker, C.H. was hummuttering.
The resulting mess from when members of a work group choose to stop picking up the slack from a coworker who is a slacking slacker. Instead, they sit back and watch the coworker's world crumble and burn.
(Slacking coworker) called in sick three days in a row. She doesn't realize her shit's due today. I'm going to the staff meeting just to watch the slacktastrophe!