Locke: O, God of Isaac and Abraham! for what reasons hast thou forsaken me?
Demosthenes: Dear friend, what strikes thee ill?
Locke: On the night of mine marriage to Lady Josephine I did discover
My most farcical of fears to be dreadfully true.
For upon removing her evening gown I had witnessed
A most terrible beast:
Residing in her Southernmost forest there dwelt
A Goliathan clitoris
The size of which would put any man's member to shame!
Demosthenes: By Zeus's thunder! What horror! What sin!
Locke: Alas, good Demosthenes, I shall be submitting an inquiry for annulment. Had I knowledge of that wretch's clippy, never would we have been betrothed.