The Chav, commonly mistaken for a human being.
It is actually a sub species that is thought to have strong links to neanderthilic culture. Indeed, the basic desires for sex, loud things, fighting and fast things are all common between the two.

There are two main breeds of chav. The female, more cunning, of the species sometimes called a Chavette. Scientific name being Chavettus Femiminine. The current technical term for such an entity, is Slut. Normally known to lose their "V"'s or Virginity before reaching full sexual maturity, they ensure that the chav race does not dye out by producing many offspring each year. They seem to have a natural affinity towards Nike Air Max and Burberry check. Both normally fake, this is assumed to be a more modern attempt at tribal markings. In this way, the Chav tribes can recognise each other in the frequent fights. They do infact posess some intelligence in the form of breeding rapidly and young so as to abuse the benefits system for as long as possible. Common drinks of the Chavette include Lambrini and other cheap alcoholic beverages.

The other type of Chav to be looked at here is the Male breed of chav. These are by far the most common of the species and are the "Hunter Gatherer" types of each tribe.
Their Hunting being the art of scouting out shops in the area and then Gathering the items for no material cost. Shoplifting could almost be considered a holy activity of the chav. The clothing is much the same to the Chav female, and often accompanied by an ear ring and cap at a jaunty angle. The drinks are the same but they often drink Stella Artois beer, being both cheap and effective at stirring up drunken brawls.

Chav culture, if it can be called that, mostly involves the consumption of alcohol and ciggarettes, and then fighting in drug and booze fuelled rampages that can last for hours. A hunt involves a large group of chav males and females going out and preying on people who are often on their lonesome. Most commonly, Moshers, Emos, Goths and other such social groups who unlike chavs, have developed braincells. Not always applicable in the case of the Emos.

Recently having received internet from whatever council provides them with a roof over their heads. Chavs have found their way onto the elusive internet and discovered social networking websites. Commonly frequented ones are Piczo, MySpace and Bebo. Piczo and Bebo have become almost fully "Chavenised" (Can be compared to Galvanised, the chav forms a protective layer over what was once good and pure.) Some have even discovered websites which give them HTML codes for their MySpace. This was previously unheard of, as Chav's are unable to comprehend their first language. Yet alone use a programming language!

Chavs also seem to have their own language which is documented worldwide on various internet websites. This is normally monosyllabic, although exceptions to occur. "Wanker" is two syllables yet they seem to have an adequate knowledge of its usage. It is suspected it is a variation on Neanderthilic culture, creating words where necessary to ensure only they can understand their language.

All in all, the Chav is to be viewed as a social menace and their stature within the country not very high. It is suspected that soon the Hunting Ban in england shall be amended to permit the killing of Chavs to rid us of this social menace. For the meantimes, gather up your holy water and Silver Crosses. Or if you are realistic, grab a handful of pennies, throw them in the other direction, the Chav's will run to the money in hope of a warm dinner.
Chav - Council House And Violent
by Artix May 30, 2008
Lowest form of life on planet, with maybe the exception of their parents. Bred in caravans, the elite pikeys may have council houses. EVERYONE hates chavs, EVERYONE.
Bex (is that how to really spell your name you illiterate fuck) and Gem each have two children and they are both still below the age of consent. They are fucking chavs. You cunting chavs need to stop being poncing little fucks and die. Pricks. Bex and Gem - Give me a call, I have a bag of grapes and reckon I could fuck your pikey asses in exchange. Then you can jump through your fucking earings to celebrate - you dogs.
by Steve March 08, 2004
Derived from Cheltenham in Gloucestershire, in full means Cheltenham Average. These sub-human runts have the burberry caps and addidas trousers tucked into red rebok socks.

But the worst thing about the Chav is that they have genitalia thus being allowed to procreate and birth new little runtish chav's. Soon like a cancer they will spread and take over the whole of England.

Too prevent prehaps we should ban fox hunting and leagalize chav hunting.
man, dude, homie, mate. All of which are acceptable, but the are said in there own little accent of which no one can hope to understand unless born into a chav household.
by Nick O'Hodrahn January 26, 2004
These are invisilicant who usually stay in herds or flocks for protection. They also have very limited vocabulary that usually consists of 'fuckin cmon then, got any fags, init, phat, burbury, smash your face in, bling bling,fuck you, hate goths, hate emos, hate skaters, and hate chavs.
Chavs are all invislicants and ignoramouses.
by jamezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz December 15, 2005
A young British 'person', bottom bottom class in both status and culture, favouring baseball caps, fake 'sports' 'labels', tracksuit bottoms tucked into their socks, trainers that cost the same amount of money as a flat deposit, and an unspeakably antisocial manner : a juvenile ruffian.
"You fucking faget! Oi! You startin'? You startin'?"
by Rupert Ducker December 05, 2003
How to turn urself into a chav:

1. Ditch all normal and perfectly acceptable clothes, and wear some shabby tracksuit. Oh dear, u noticed that the trousers are too small, ah well tuck 'em in ur bright yellow socks n no1 will notice.............yea rite.

2. Grab urself a baseball cap and any old chains that look sparkly....

3. Now, shove your hands in ur v. tredy tracksuit pockets and learn the chav walk- sweep each shoulder down, forwards and then upwards making an arch and drag your body along with your shoulders.

4. Now, light a cigarette and suck ur life away on it (some how thinking this is the coolest thing to do).

5. The most important thing to to learn to speak propa. this cannot be taught, like most accents im afraid you'll actually have to hang around with the miserable creatures and hope to just pick it up.

6. Finally you just hang around bus stops, Mc Donalds, Sports shops and pretend u have money to buy stuff from those shops. Walk in the middle of roads (how cum they neva actually get run ova? :( ) and just be pushed to the very fringes of respectable society and take the tremendous leap to the category- scum.

Now, my (once) friend. You have become a complete chav. You are now harder and more tough than anybody i will eva know and i give u all rites to completely ruin the lives of others. Most importantly remember....if somebody looks at u it means they're thinking of killing u, try and think of a clever remark, but don't worry it dosen't ACTUALLY have to be cleva because for you that would be impossible.....
see a chav, kill a chav.......it's a living.
by Emma............chav killa February 19, 2004
These are invisilicant who usually stay in herds or flocks for protection. They also have very limited vocabulary that usually consists of 'fuckin cmon then, got any fags, init, phat, burbury, smash your face in, bling bling,fuck you, hate goths, hate emos, hate skaters, and hate chavs.
Chavs are all invislicants and ignoramouses.
by jamezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz December 15, 2005
Chav/ Chavette(female)/ Neds/ Kevs etc
Robert Hartland's version, Influenced By Stewart Goodarzi and William Sewell (thankyou).

A young teenage yobo wearing, a real fake burberry Check hat at 90degrees with the front Quiff of his hair gelled! For the t-shirt, A stone island/henry loyd/ or also a sh*tty old addidas t-shirt (commonly worn by the cheap chavs!)is a must have.
For trousers; Addidas/Kappa orlecoqsportif trakkie bottoms Allways tucked into there old footie socks nicked from the local team,
For shoes a pair of sparkling white nike shocks or for the cheap chavs a pair of reebok classics.
But to top it all off they flash off their recently stolen Bling, Bling!! from the back of an argos truck. While smoking the cheapest fags around (Richmond superking are the favorites) and chopsing an innocent 16/17yr old boy who is just trying to walk home in peace.
The female version of this known as kappa slapper or chavette she acts in a similar way and dresses in similar fasion except 3 differences these are, 1) They hav to keep 1 hand free so they may push around there pram with there recently born baby drapped in burberry clothes.
2)They wear their hair in a tight bunch known as the 'Council housed face lift'
3)They wear hooped earings so big a 20stone man could use them as a hoop to swing round and round his waist.
by Robert William Hartland November 15, 2004

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