Captain Kirk's Vulcan Shocker 

Just like the Vulcan Shocker (two in the pink, two in the stink) with Captain Kirk's gentle thumb on the clit.

While I jacked him off, he gave be the Captain Kirk's Vulcan Shocker.

Captain Kirk's Vulcan Shocker by cutiebatooty March 21, 2010

Captain Kirk smirk 

A look of self-satisfaction after just defeating your nemesis. Named after the legendary Captain Kirk.

Me: Everything I tell you is a lie. Now listen carefully.. I'm lying right now...

My last Date (who looks like she could have been a Stepford Wife): Error! Error! Does not compute.

I leave with a big captain kirk smirk as my date, who was acting like a total fucktard by not wanting to have casual sex with me starts emitting sparks and smoke from every orifice in her body.

Captain Kirk smirk by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005

Go Captain Kirk 

Go Captain Kirk: To show up in someone's house unexpectedly, possibly in their bedroom in the middle of the night.

The Captain Kirk can be used to maximum effect by continuing an IM chat that gives no clue to the intended victim of impending arrival from a great distance.

Skype Chatter: I wish i could go Captain Kirk on you and show up in your living room right now.

Go Captain Kirk by DZDZDZD February 28, 2010

Captain Kirk's Nipples 

Something to say when you experience something astonishing or amazing.

Captain Kirk's Nipples that was an awesome movie.

Captain Kirk's Nipples by Jables246 November 2, 2009

captain kirk 

describes the act of opening one's flip mobile phone by snapping it open with a flick of the wrist, Star Trek-communicator-style. Eventually leads to phone breakage, sometimes with the top half of the phone flying across the room as it snaps from the base.

"Dude! I Captain Kirked my phone last night and it broke in half!"

"Heather, if you don't stop Captain Kirking your phone so much, you are going to have to stop buying flip phones!"

captain kirk by senor _coconut_1 January 9, 2009

Captain Kirk Award 

A very rare award that will only be given out once in human history, to a single person, and never again. This person will permanently hold the title for all of eternity, and be remembered as a hero to mankind.

This great honor shall be bestowed upon the very first human being to have sex with a sentient alien life form.

Convincing another human to fuck you is hard enough, but to be able to overcome a cultural and language barrier of an entirely different species and STILL convince one of them to fuck you is the pinnacle of finesse and game.

(Captain Kirk is the protagonist of the famed Star Trek series, and is known for gallivanting across the galaxy and gettin' the honeys.)

In the year 2199, Commander Larry Shepard of the United Earth Space Navy made first contact with the first known sentient species of extraterrestrials in the galaxy: the Shag-Shag.

This feat pales in comparison to Shepard's next accomplishment: earning the Captain Kirk Award by seducing the royal princess, thus becoming the first human being to have sex with an alien.

The war that followed was brutal, and brought our two races to the brink of extinction. It turns out that in Shag-Shag culture, a girl's parents must be present during intercourse. Not doing so is a major taboo in their culture. However, despite this chaos, you cannot deny that Commander Shepard has some fuckin' game.

Captain Kirk Award by Mana Banana June 16, 2019

captain kirk 

William Shatners role on the legendary original series Star Trek. The Captain never failed at anything, always got the girl (even when she had blue skin) and was the only starfleet cadet to ever beat the Kibiyoshi Maru (by cheating), a simulation designed to test how a cadet responds to failure. He's famous for dramatic pauses, which Shatner is also famous for. Was promoted to Admiral in the course of the Star Trek movies, but then demoted back to captain in a later Star Trek movie.

but Spock.........................................................................................why?

captain kirk by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005