Any small to fairly sized object that falls between the cushions of a couch, commonly rediscovered after as much as a year of confinement in said furniture. Notable types include Goldfish, Cheez-Its, and popcorn, though more essential living room items, such as TV remotes, have been found, as well.
I found a Hershey's Kiss futon crouton the other day in my Ikea couch. Gave it a sniff to make sure there was no stank and I popped that motherfucker in my mouth.
by Dang Lin Wang LXIX November 12, 2016
lacking knowledge or information as to a small piece of fried or toasted bread, sometimes seasoned, used as a garnish for soups, salads, and other dishes.a particular subject or fact
by Wolfie SiriusBlack February 13, 2015
The act of soaking your balls in salad dressing before forcefully inserting them into your girl's ass while screaming at the top of your lungs "WELCOME TO THE HIDDEN VALLEY!"
I hope my girl gets here soon because I've been basting my balls in this dressing all day and I can't wait to give her the soggy crouton
by FittyTucker March 23, 2016
A person who insidiously steals your croutons from your ever so delicious Caesar salad. Along with croutons, they also tend to steal those awesome tasty chunks of parmasean. These beings will go to extreme measures just to take your croutons, usually they will stab you with their fork in the process, but the barbaric extremities vary based on who the savage is.
Jimmy: Dude hide your salad right now!
Paul: What why?
Jimmy: Because Kimmy's coming over here!
Paul: I don't--
Jimmy: Hurry up and do it Paul!
Paul: (hides salad) Why?
Jimmy: she's crouton savage. (Lifts sleeve to show scars). That's why.
Paul: is that from a fork?
Paul: What why?
Jimmy: Because Kimmy's coming over here!
Paul: I don't--
Jimmy: Hurry up and do it Paul!
Paul: (hides salad) Why?
Jimmy: she's crouton savage. (Lifts sleeve to show scars). That's why.
Paul: is that from a fork?
by CouldntDecide December 18, 2014
the clinging of fecal residue and toilet paper fragments to one's anal hairs; a disgustingly deplorable condition that unequivocally creates a lack of hygiene in this unpleasantly moist and stinky cavity. More commonly referred to as "dingleberries," or fartleberries."
With the amount of ass croutons that I was packing, you could have tossed quite a salad down there! Only problem was, I wished my girlfriend would have used Ranch dressing instead of Italian!
by weave August 23, 2003
the unfortunate & unpredictable outcome of tossing a salad that leaves the tosser with crumbs in their eyelashes.
by Bob Boston May 21, 2003
person 1: what’s up?
person 2: the sky lol you noob
person 3: no, it’s the ceiling you hollow crouton
person 2: the sky lol you noob
person 3: no, it’s the ceiling you hollow crouton
by yeehaw bandit January 4, 2019