Beardniks are easily recognised by their pungent, unkempt beads, predilection for violent anal fisting, addiction to amyl nitrite and uncanny aptitude and passion for trigonometry. They are often found driving rusted HG Holden sedans to sex shops, where they buy inordinately large quantities of latex gloves, dental dams and chocolate-flavoured lubricant.
"Oh man, that's a real gone maths problem. My chode aches for a solution. Let's crack open some amyls, do some trig and rim the night away!"
"Dude! You sound like my grade nine maths teacher - a freaky beardnik!"