Friend #2 Nah, I'm down to 2 mojito's like a normal person."
Friend #1 Wow, how'd you manage that? AA?
Friend #2 Well honestly, I feel so much better now that I've had my bastectomy, I don't have a problem anymore..hiccup."
Also see: bastectimologist. (The person who removes the bastard from said life, often a professional or a new bastard)