Get the ass creamed mug.
by pollin July 31, 2003
Guy 1: when I was fucking my girlfriend, she asked me to use ass cream so my massive cock could go in and out more smoothly.
Guy 2: Nice.
Guy 2: Nice.
by Master bait November 11, 2007
A clear like cream you can buy at any pharmacy or your local Walmart This is used when your ass is drier than a desert due to cold temperatures. It helps relive itching or make you feel better after you toke a massive shit that ripped your asshole.
In order to use this cream please follow the directions below:
1. Open the lid (assuming you have all ready have the cream in hand)
2. Use your index and middle to scoop up the cream
3. Spread dem ass cheeks (to do this use the palms of both hands and pull apart till you cant no more)
4. Using your index and middle gracefully rub the cream on your asshole and the parts around it. Be generous when putting on the cream it would be embarrassing if you had to go again in the middle of that date because you feel itchy down there.
5. Close the lid and apply more when needed also wash your hands when your done, you nasty fuck.
In order to use this cream please follow the directions below:
1. Open the lid (assuming you have all ready have the cream in hand)
2. Use your index and middle to scoop up the cream
3. Spread dem ass cheeks (to do this use the palms of both hands and pull apart till you cant no more)
4. Using your index and middle gracefully rub the cream on your asshole and the parts around it. Be generous when putting on the cream it would be embarrassing if you had to go again in the middle of that date because you feel itchy down there.
5. Close the lid and apply more when needed also wash your hands when your done, you nasty fuck.
"hey jessie you got any of that ass cream you carry around?"
"yeah i have it with me right now here"
"thanks its drier than a desert ever since we got here im gonna go butter up my pooper now"
"ok you go do that ill wait right here"
"yeah i have it with me right now here"
"thanks its drier than a desert ever since we got here im gonna go butter up my pooper now"
"ok you go do that ill wait right here"
by homelesstoad June 29, 2014
/noun/ slang term for the medicated ointment used in treating hemorrhoids; called so because it is applied to the anal orifice
by Silky Smooth November 14, 2003
A white pastey discharge from the anus that occurs during intense sexual possitions. The discharge is caused by a fault in the kidney know as "kidneyitus". The cream is/can be injested by the owners friend/partner/relative as a substance that increases fertility. The cream is similar to that which is placed on deserts which, minus the taste, is fucking disgusting.
"I was having bondage with my sister last night."
"Doesn't she have kidneyitus?"
"Did she..?"
"Yes. Ass creamed all over my face."
"Dad...thats fucking disgusting."
"Doesn't she have kidneyitus?"
"Did she..?"
"Yes. Ass creamed all over my face."
"Dad...thats fucking disgusting."
by Lindley August 1, 2006
medicine for hemorroids
by Da Nasty One November 11, 2004