applectomy

A medical condition in which prolonged usage of Apple technology results in degenerative brain diseases. Applectomy is subsequently branched into a wide variety of symptomatic illnesses based on the level and type of exposure to Apple products.

Decreased Motor Cortex Stimulation: Prolonged usage of Apple's touch screen technology will result in the degeneration of the motor cortex. Resulting in a loss of fine motor skills and overall finger dexterity needed to finely manipulate items. Items such as a keyboard.

Appsosis: A debilitating mental illness brought about by chronic exposure to the Apple iPhone's third party applications causes dementia and neurosis among patients overly engrossed into their recently purchased "app".

I-Form Dyslexia: A learning disability that stems from habitual usage of Apple's "i" products i.e "iPod", "iPhone", "iMovie". Patients begin to refer to objects with the prefix lowercase "i". Referring to a pet dog as "iDog" or a friend as an "iFriend" is a sign of I-Form Dyslexia

Jim: Hey Sarah how are you doing today?

Sarah: *In profound vegetative state*

Jim: Sarah please stop using your iPhone, Please! Your family needs you...

Sarah: *In profound vegetative state*

Doctor: I'm sorry Jim but she's suffering from late stage applectomy. Her brain has atrophied from prolonged use of her iPhone.

Jim: God no....

by Define Me! March 21, 2009