Achilles was the best of Greeks and lover of Patroclus. Patroclus was NOT Achilles' cousin. This came about because the director and screenwriters of the movie Troy thought it was too gay to have their macho hero so torn up about the death of his best guy friend that he went on a killing spree. he myth that his mother, the goddess Thetis dipped him in the River Styx came along AFTER the Iliad. Achilles was trained by the centaur Chrion, who also trained heroes like Hercules. He probably met Patroclus sometime during his training and they fell in love like dorks do. However, when they got to Troy they probably had a ton of threesomes, especially with Briseis. The fun ended when Agamenmon took Briseis away because he was a dick. So Achilles refused to fight and sulked in his tent until Patroclus decided that he'd go into battle dressed as Achilles to lift moral. Patroclus was a total badass, and even killed Sarpedon, the son of Zeus before Hector killed him. When Achilles found out his lover had died he refused to eat, drink, or leave the corpse's side until his mother convinced him to take his rage out on everyone. He killed everyone on his way to Hector, including a fucking river god. When he finally killed Hector, he dragged his corpse around the walls of Troy. Now, in the Iliad, he eventually gives the body back to the Trojans and that's the end. His death MAY have been caused by an arrow to the heel, but it's also very likely that it was something else.
Person A: Hey, did you know Achilles was in love with his cousin?
Person B: Actually, Patroclus wasn't his cousin! That was just some bullshit the movie Troy would have you believe because it couldn't handle the gay!
Person B: Actually, Patroclus wasn't his cousin! That was just some bullshit the movie Troy would have you believe because it couldn't handle the gay!
by actualgrantaire July 25, 2015
This party is gonna be off the chain. That new guy you invited... Marco, is it? Does he have the achillity?
Of course he does.
Of course he does.
by exodusprime April 25, 2013
Not known to be a true or false. Achilles was a warrior, maybe the greatest that ever lived. It is said that his mother held achilles, when he was a baby, by his ankle and dipped him into the river Styx; everything the sacred river touched became invulnerable but the ankle remained dry and unprotected. It is said that during the war for Troy, Achilles was wounded in his tendon and died from the wound. He was not en evil man, just mislead but it is well known that the city of Troy would not of been taken had Achilles not been involved.
by Oz January 18, 2005
he was this really pretty dude with long golden shiny hair, killer cheek-bones, long eyelashes and could totally slay a dress. he was such a twink that you wouldn't be able to make him out in a group of girls. and he had this cool boyfriend called patroclus who was killed by hector.
A: hey didn't Achilles kill Hector and drag his body around the gates of Troy?
B: you can't blame him. I'd be pretty mad as well if 10 years of heterosexual nonsense killed my boyfriend.
B: you can't blame him. I'd be pretty mad as well if 10 years of heterosexual nonsense killed my boyfriend.
by ciggarhoe January 16, 2022
Achilles is very yummy and muscular all the girls love him he is a very handsom young boy with a big dick
by Yes yes yes no November 23, 2021
an achilles is anyone who is a true fighter, someone who is always couragous no matter what the odds. an achilles will stick up for his mate in any fight and defend what is right with all his strength and skill. An achilles is also able to lead people like a hero.
that guy is such an achilles, he just fought off three bikers who stole his lady's handbag. he kicked there sorry asses!
by filthy gee January 13, 2006