as pissed as a mattress 

Sufficiently drunk to be able to speak in tongues, roll eyes, disable the beer GPS, have taxi drivers take one to the police, break ankles, shag your manager (or someone elses)and ultimately become mpp. Only excuse is "I have to go somewhere, and do something" Anyway...

"He would not have luged the stairs if he was not as pissed as a mattress"
"I (he, she or it) was as pissed as a mattress last night"
"Must be MPP, pissed as a mattress when I left him"
"Pyromaniac? No, just pissed as a mattress"
"No, I didn't do that, must have been pissed as a mattress"
"Don't hit me again, Officer"

as pissed as a mattress by Taipei toecutter June 1, 2006

burn a mattress 

What one does in East Tennessee when a beloved football coach leaves for a better job at another school. It is an
expression of grief and is done to relieve frustration and anger. The custom is thought to have originated during the American Civil War when citizens would burn the mattresses of

departing soldiers to free the mattresses from lice.

Lane Kiffin's done gone to California. I'm so mad I'm gonna go out here in front of my trailer and burn a mattress!

burn a mattress by Elmoe1 February 1, 2010

C Sectioned A Mattress 

A phrase which has no particular meaning. Commonly used as a meme.

The phrase comes from Adrijus Bee AKA Adrijus08, a simple but odd misinterpretation of the song ‘In My Room’ by Frank Ocean whilst in the back of a friends car. The true lyrics of which he was trying to interpret were “…no sleeper seats, that’s a mattress”.

The entire video was a video filmed by Joel Long AKA minigod802, it was a daily video that would include Ryan, Adrijus & Joel, where they would say “LAAAHD” an odd but interesting way to keep memories of being in the back of Cody’s car (as it was only that year they would be in that car after school).

The phrase resurfaced as Ryan Monty AKA Paulie__Dee rewatched the video and found the phrase that Adrijus said quite amusing. This lead to Ryan saying the phrase frequently and making an inside joke, nowadays the phrase is said by millions across the world, including celebrities like: Drake, Taylor Swift, The Weeknd, Joji, The Burger King mascot etc.

Person 1: “C Sectioned A Mattress”

Person 2: “The fuck?”

Person 3: “Bro think he Fintan or Sheamus”

C Sectioned A Mattress by FAT KHUNT September 29, 2022

Ur Mistress A Mattress 

The worst insult that can possibly be created in the universe. Stronger than Ur Granny Tranny and Ur Sister my mister

Greg: Ur mom gay
John: ur Father lesbian
Greg: ur granny tranny
John: Ur Mistress A Mattress

Greg dies instantly when he realises he is adopted by a mattress. Whatever he knew was a lie.

Ur Mistress A Mattress by SucidalThoughts May 29, 2018

with a mattress in the back 

a way to spice up any sentence in a way that even "your mom", "that's what she said", or "in your granny's oven" can not achieve; from the hit movie edward scissorhands.

Bob: I did some gardening today.
Fred: ...WITH A MATTRESS IN THE BACK!

with a mattress in the back by Nellie Lovett May 3, 2008

Save a mattress, fuck a watermelon 

When you’re playing fortnite and you lose a 1v1 when you shouldn’t have

Can’t believe I lost that man, “Save a mattress, fuck a watermelon” dude

Save a mattress, fuck a watermelon by 3of3irish December 23, 2022

explosion at a mattress factory 

A bad and bouncy landing for a pilot. Porpoising down the runway after initial contact with wheels.

That landing looked like an explosion at a mattress factory.

explosion at a mattress factory by Trigeek September 4, 2016