A language spoken by the Xhiffica tribe of Upper Thryxhrmichy. Pronunciation is difficult for English speakers, mostly due to the use of dental clicks and guttural sounds needed to express the language properly.
Several people have choked to death trying to pronounce the name of the language alone. It is therefore advised by the UK home office to refrain from speaking the language unless absolutely necessary.
Basic everyday words and phrases
Lezhvdik - Hello
Studdjydd em 'a taddlrikz? - How are you?
Syuddjydd 'a besz wukulxuck? - How is your wife?
Kem be bi rykurvfar treddtmok? - What is your name?
Dregridd meky meky kakugdazh? - Where is the nearest train station?
Rhaddtsick feg fy clargukz? - What's that smell?
Sikurlichy 'a befreg thrantekz? - What is for dinner?
Smetlick 'a twenner chivlidd - Onions disagree with me
Crazhscik - Doctor
Zifnik - A burning sensation felt in the left foot
Chozhkjik - A medical condition defined as the right armpit smelling worse than the left
Smiddjmok - Beach
Faddklich - The Swedish as a race
Gikuwbfart - Trainspotter
Bledsichy - A type of unlicenced taxi
Chidpnakz - Backhander
Ledhyok - A musical instrument made from cat dung
Dafregcomfestil - Dafregcomfestil
Gozhfart cef kmiddchyzh - Use a condom
Batlichy - shotgun wedding
Dozhscidh - Chlamydia
Phiddfik - A horse's cock that is as wide as it is long
Trakubwadh - A type of excessive sweating caused by extreme arousal towards ginger people
Man 1 - Do you speak Xhicha?
Man 2 - No, attempting to say 'What is your name?' last time left me with an unoprable hernia.
Man 1 - Fair enough.