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54.
An operating system to run your computer for you. If you are moderately computer-savvy, e.g., you understand that buying and installing anti-virus protection, internet firewall software, spy-dectection software, etc., actively safeguarding your own computing environment, e.g. you don't use ANY vendor's email client software, open attachments with extensions like .exe, etc., don't subscribe to file-sharing networks like shareaza which put BIG FUCKING HOLES in any other security software you may have installed, then you probably won't experience all the horrid "crashes" reported by the naysayers.

If, on the other hand, you're an unemployed software programmer whose resume was shit-canned by Microsoft and you have nothing better to do with your day than find "holes" in the OS, you'll probably find what you're looking for. As for me, I like to look at beautiful (a-hem) pictures and movies, keep track of my finances, get information off the internet, and just generally have a GAY ol' time on the internet. Windows XP couldn't be better or easier to use.

And P.S. Will somebody please kill and bury Quicktime and Apple? Talk about way past their prime...they're like a Jaguar competing in an Acura and Lexus world...nobody's saying the Jaguar's aren't pretty...it's just that the Lexus will actually GET YOU THERE TOO!!!
1) I bought one of the first MAC's ever. No...NO...I did NOT buy a LISA!!

2) Steven Jobs is a GOOD guy, Bill Gates is a BAD guy. And their respective bank account balances clearly prove the point!!!

3) No one will hire me because I refuse to accept the project manager's directives. So, instead, I've installed LINUX to facilitate my hacking into WINDOWS-based PCs, just to show how suck-ey their god-damned OS really is.

4)The Tower of Babel is infinitely more desirable than a single, standardized approach, if you really care about instruction sets, for Christ's sake!!!

5) Let's win the marketing war by cornering the education market, so all those poor school-kids can fuck around with apple software for ten years until they graduate into the REAL world.
by herman gates March 31, 2004
 
1.
Windows 95/98, (n): 32 bit extension and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprossessor, written by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
by Derek B May 26, 2003
 
2.
A piece of glass you can open when it gets too hot outside. Come on people
Open the window, it's hot as hell in here
by meg February 15, 2004
 
3.
A lot harder to open than its glass counterpart.
Windows, which was copied, edited, then sold for billions by Bill Gates(see antichrist ), is just as good as Linux or Mac OS X, without the whole "Working" and "running" thing. To sum it up: The worst mistake of your life would be to buy it.
Person 1: " OMG, I accidently just blew up my office, killing thousands!"
Person 2: " You think you made a mistake? I BOUGHT WINDOWS!"
by Manux June 12, 2004
 
4.
One of several pieces of software from Microsoft:

1. Windows 1.0 was a graphical shell that allowed the user of an IBM PC to have several MS-DOS programs running at the same time, sharing the screen through viewports called "windows," hence the name. It was released after the first Apple Macintosh computer, and most users did not install it because it required too much memory. MS-DOS was an operating system that could only have one application open at any given time, and those applications could only access up to 640 kilobytes of RAM. Files stored by it had names consisting of eight characters, a dot, and three more characters, and certain characters, such as spaces, were not allowed. TEXTFILE.TXT was a typical DOS filename.

2. ~ 3.0 was a graphical shell that also had dynamic library support, a feature normally built into an operating system. Applications had to be written "for" ~, almost as if it was an operating system. It did things on behalf of applications, like an operating system. It was started from DOS as an application, and exiting ~ returned the user to DOS. Instead of folders, there were program groups, where programs had to be explicitly placed. Placement of a program in the Program Groups typically involved telling ~ the complete path to the program executable (ie, "C:\COREL\WP.EXE")

3. ~ 95 was a graphical shell that was booted directly by DOS, so that it appeared to be the entire operating system. It imitated the look and feel of a Macintosh. It was capable of running most ~ NT binaries, and it implemented pre-emptive multitasking, a feature commonly found in operating systems, and added support for "long filenames" (LFN), which allowed files to have Macintosh-like names. The "Restart in DOS mode" feature is equivalent to the "Exit Windows" feature in older versions of ~.

4. Windows NT ("New" Technology) is a real operating system that was written completely independantly of the line of graphical shells that are also called Windows. Microsoft hired the employees of DEC that designed VMS to work on ~ NT. Unlike ~ versions that were already on the market, ~ NT took full advantage of the Intel 386's 32-bit capabilities. Its design was so closely tied to the Intel 32-bit architecture that it could not be ported to a 64-bit platform easily.

The "New" technology in ~ was new only to Windows. Features new to NT, such as true multitasking and virtual memory, had been available in other operating systems since the 1970s and even before that.

Microsoft eventually began to market Windows NT as an alternative to UNIX, but they did so at the same time that Linux was becoming ever more popular as a UNIX replacement. Windows NT had many bugs of its own, and its superficial similarities to Windows 95 caused users to expect Windows 95 bugs to be present in Windows NT. Its Internet server offerings were notably inferior to the UNIX programs they were meant to replace.

All current versions of Windows are descended from Windows NT, and not from the DOS shells that were also called Windows.

Though 64-bit Intel processors are already available in 2004, a 64-bit version of Windows is still years away.
This program requires Microsoft Windows.
by Shaka Zulu September 03, 2004
 
5.
An operating system programmed by monkeys in a room with typewriters.
Your windows works as well as shit!
by supapuerco October 19, 2003
 
6.
An Operating System developed by the much hated Microsoft Corporation. Became popular via amoral business practise on the part of Microsoft. Windows is world renowned for being insecure and bug ridden. Some describe it as "the only computer virus that you pay to use".
Excuse me while I run Windows Update and download yet another 80mb bugfix....er....sorry, "upgrade".
by LoneWolf June 18, 2003
 
7.
The operating system that crashes every time you use it. Causes blue screen of death phenomenons.
"Hey look, a record! It's 45 minutes since I rebooted and my windows has still not crashed!"
by Anonymous November 06, 2002