|1.||Vicarious Beard Growth|
Vicarious beard growth is the attempt of helping your own beard grow by staring at pictures of people with awesome beards. It should be noted that this is a myth. It does not work. This has been researched and proven by expert and awesome beard owner David Denison, who is well credited and a pioneer in his field, despite being a Michigander.
Guy 1: Your beard's looking a little patchy, man.
Guy 2: I know! I've been trying to fill it out, but the vicarious beard growth just doesn't seem to be working!
Guy 1: Man, I've been trying for a month, but my beard still won't grow!
Guy 2: Have you tried vicarious beard growth?
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: You know, putting up pictures of awesome beards to inspire your own.
Guy 1: *pauses* Are you high?