2 definitions by Rodman Edward Serling

Vicarious Beard Growth

Vicarious beard growth is the attempt of helping your own beard grow by staring at pictures of people with awesome beards. It should be noted that this is a myth. It does not work. This has been researched and proven by expert and awesome beard owner David Denison, who is well credited and a pioneer in his field, despite being a Michigander.

Example 1:
Guy 1: Your beard's looking a little patchy, man.
Guy 2: I know! I've been trying to fill it out, but the vicarious beard growth just doesn't seem to be working!

Example 2:
Guy 1: Man, I've been trying for a month, but my beard still won't grow!
Guy 2: Have you tried vicarious beard growth?
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: You know, putting up pictures of awesome beards to inspire your own.
Guy 1: *pauses* Are you high?

by Rodman Edward Serling August 14, 2011

The Beard is a Lie

Used to show that a supposed method of beard growth is a scam and actually won't help you grow a beard at all. The phrase is parodied off the "the cake is a lie" meme.

Salesman: Excuse me, but I couldn't help notice that pitiful excuse for facial hair that's attached itself to your jaw. Might I interest you in trying some Miracle Beard Grow? It's only $29.99 a jar.

Guy: *rubs face insecurely* Uh...well...

Good Samaritan passing by: The beard is a lie.

Guy: No thanks. *walks away*

by Rodman Edward Serling August 14, 2011