When a man paints the nails on his non-dominant hand red, sits on this hand until it goes numb, raises one leg (same side as hand), reaches under raised leg with non-dominant/painted hand and proceeds to jerk off. (the Ultimate Stanger can be performed sitting or standing) GIDDY UP!
When she won't put-out and your sick of the typical jerk session, try the Ultimate Stranger.
A variation on The Stranger. Involves, in addition to sitting on your hand until it becomes numb, also painting the nails on that hand. You then have a seat in a dark room or closet and use your free hand to shine a flashlight on the hand with the painted nails while you masturbate.
"My girlfriend left me, so I gave myself The Ultimate Stranger. I then proceeded to contemplate the emptiness of my existence and ended up contacting my lawyer and writing my will."