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1.
the potato theory is the theory stating that: "A potato cannot be created or deystroyed, only transfered from one anus to another" this theory was first put into practice by my physics teacher, in a lesson that involved his wife, a potato, a ping pong paddle, and a un-prepared anus, needless to say it was a fun lesson. Potato theory can also be applied to time and space, for space, this theory enables the users potato to travel to faster than light speeds, inorder for this theory to be put into practice, exactly 2 grammes of mashed potatoes, and exactly 2 grammes of roast potatoes, then these items must be applied to the potato in a very delicate order; mash, roast, roast, mash, mash, mash, roast, mash. then place the potato into your anus and point it in the direction of your choosing. in order to apply this theory to time, is you need exactly 3 grammes of chips, and exactly 3 grammes of roast potatoes, the combined oils from the two potatoic foods, create a time feild, then as in the warp theory, you must place it inside of your anus and you will travel in time
The Potato theory can also be applied to time and space, for space, this theory enables the users potato to travel to faster than light speeds, inorder for this theory to be put into practice, exactly 2 grammes of mashed potatoes, and exactly 2 grammes of roast potatoes, then these items must be applied to the potato in a very delicate order; mash, roast, roast, mash, mash, mash, roast, mash. then place the potato into your anus and point it in the direction of your choosing. in order to apply this theory to time, is you need exactly 3 grammes of chips, and exactly 3 grammes of roast potatoes, the combined oils from the two potatoic foods, create a time feild, then as in the warp theory, you must place it inside of your anus and you will travel in time
by Potato king October 16, 2012
 
2.
The potato theory continued...
This can be considered when you use the raw juices from cooked potatoes to transfer the mystical energies of the potato into the space time continuum. In short, the juices of the potato rips a hole in the fabric of space-time thus enabling stuff, such as time travel, faster than light travel, multiversal travel and dimensions which are larger than the space they occupy.

This concept was first mastered by the brilliant mind of Dr N Morgan, whom thought of the idea whilst in the lessons of Mr Mcginty. Accompanied by his brilliant collogue Dr R Lloyd , whilst making a potato go at warp speed.
Two prime examples of "The Potato Theory"
An example would be, if you get a potato and pour the juices of said cooked potato onto an object and threw it, the speed would increase expectationally until reaching warp speed, in essence you would have an object moving faster than light speed.

Another example would be to pour potato juices into the anus to provide a space which although occupies a small area ie the inside of the anus, it makes it larger in form, allowing you to hold bags of potatoes inside of your anus to carry more than your own load, so to speak. This was mastered by a Mr Mcginty whom places potatoes aswell as other scientific objects into his rectum for science.
by Anonymous_potato October 24, 2012