Swearingen

The best type of family in the world. You automatically want to be friends with the Swearingens. Swearingen children are the best behaved and most beautiful girls.

Girl: dad I met the nicest most beautiful girl ever.
Dad: what’s her name.
Girl: Halle Swearingen
Dad: oh she’s a swearingen that makes more sense

by Halleisthebestintheworld September 29, 2019

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Jeff Swearingen

God himself. Actor, director, and writer of various comedy and drama productions. This man is possibly the perfect human. Faster, smarter, stronger, short. He is on a spiritual and intellectual level so high. The few to come into contact with this elusive figure, are enlightened. They are taken to a level of “not being a shit actor” for a moment, before Jeff disappears into the shadows. His IMDB page probably had religious text or fashion tips, most likely related to banana republic, on it at some point. Although he is not known to most people his work is incredible. As an acting teacher, he goes above and beyond what’s expected. He is so incredible he actually has a cult made up of various enlightened individuals called “the falcon”. Jeff does not affiliate himself with this cult but he knows of it. Truly, a god among men.

Guy: who is that guy

Enlightened individual: THATS JEFF SWEARINGEN OH MY GOD

Jeff: please leave me alone

by Falcon worshipper February 10, 2022

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