Sucks Straws 

used to replace the term sucks balls, due to the fact that you will inevitably suck on more straws than balls in your life time.

Guy 1: Dude, I just failed my math test and got hit by a truck!
Guy 2: That sucks straws!

Girl 1: Last night Bobby's mom walked in on us and then tried

to kill me with her frying pan!

Girl 2: That really sucks some straws.

Sucks Straws by OHHno June 21, 2010

whatever sucks your straw 

synonymous with "whatever floats your boat" and the new and absolutely phenomenal "whatever lifts your luggage".

well, i don't particularly care for butt humping my pets... but whatever sucks your straw, pete.

whatever sucks your straw by dordan jewert May 16, 2010

sucks ass thru a straw 

for when u think things really can't get any worse
a situation or person is very disappointing, annoying, upsetting, substandard, displeasing, unfulfilling

my job sucks ass thru a straw!
also see sucks hairy wet ass thru a straw

sucks ass thru a straw by jobsworth February 15, 2005

sucks hairy wet ass thru a straw 

for when u think things can't get any worse . . . .and then they do!

(after a very bad day at work) my job sucks hairy wet ass thru a straw
also see sucks ass thru a straw

sucks hairy wet ass thru a straw by jobsworth February 15, 2005

go suck on a straw 

This is a term that means "Go away and do something else." or " Go away and suck the juice out of a man's penis."

"I hate you." man #1.
"Go suck on a straw!" man #2.

go suck on a straw by Amanda May 13, 2005

suck on a straw 

To be uesd when a person is annoying you, arguing with you, or dare to talk to you when you don't feel much like cussing anyone out.

John: You love Nick, don't you?
Me: Pfft, no.
John: Yeah, you do.
Me: GRR. Go suck on a straw, John.

Cheating-Ex-Boyfriend: Hey, Jaz. What's -
Me: GO SUCK ON A STRAW!!!

suck on a straw by JaztheCatDemon January 11, 2009

suck a softball through a straw 

Used to define a girl (or guy) who is so experienced in sucking, it is supposed that she/he could suck anything

That bitch could suck a softball through a straw

suck a softball through a straw by Venix May 27, 2014