St. Anthony's High School

2,600 Long Island kids fill the hallways of this elite Long Island Catholic high school each day. 75 passing grade makes us awesome. Typical student is upper middle class, white, from the North Shore of Long Island or some upscale town like Dix Hills or Brookville. Girls can be seen at 8am sporting their Northface, Uggs, Burberry scarf, and a coffee. Vineyard Vines clothing and Sperrys are popular. St. Anthony's students are 25 percent brains, 25 percent class, 25 percent looks, and 25 percent beast, which basically means that they're 100 percent awesome. 99 percent of St. Anthony's kids go off to the best colleges to make a shitload of money one day in the future while out of the other 1 percent, .9 go to the best military academies and .1 percent mooch off mommy and daddy and roll around in solid gold 24K bathtubs bathing themselves in Benjamins. When Christmastime rolls around, Saint Anthony's seniors go HAM. Mention Chaminade and someone is bound to say "gay" and vomits. Parents pour money into the school so that it can construct $40 million student centers, chapels filled with antiques, new stadiums, etc. By 2020, St. Anthony's High School will make Dubai look like a shithole at the rate Brother Gary is going.

Becky (Smithtown West HS)- "My parents bought me a 1993 Honda Civic in RED for my birthday and I'm having my Sweet 16 at the park down the road!"

Christina (St. Anthony's)- "Bitch please, my parents got me a 2013 Audi A5 and are renting out the Titanic for my Sweet 16."

Chaminade Student- "Yea, I go to Chaminade. How about you?"

St. Anthony's Student- "HAHAHAHAHA!"

"You go to St. Anthony's? That's like the Harvard of high schools on Long Island. You must be so rich and so smart!"

Vineyard Vines and Lilly Pulitzer don't ever have an issue with finding models because St. Anthony's High School exists.

by coldspringharbor April 28, 2012