A school where the staff famously hand out detentions for fuck all. Having your shirt untucked for half a second may land yourself in detention on a Friday eve. The rule was introduced in conjuction with the local Spoons to lower the number of chavs and roadmen drinking there.
In 2022, the school painted a red border around the perimeter. Students seen "crossing into the badlands" are executed at dawn. Also introduced were exit/entry rules heavily influenced by soviet repression in the Gulags. Russian prison uniforms are preferred by students to what they currently wear (due to incidents of pupils overheating) "The blazers are 100% polyester sourced from Aldi," say the school governors "we buy them all during sale season and use cheap indian labour to sew on the house badges, it makes us look like Hogwarts!"
Prospective students of the school should be aware of CCTV in the lavatory blocks closely monitored at all times by the "establishment". This is to to cut down on incidents of roadmen gathering, vaping, drug use, spell casting and other suspicious activity.
As part of their art program, graffiti dominates on many of the walls. Art includes male genitalia, violent language, opinions of teaching staff and "Tick if you're bored" interactive art installations. Experts believe that in thousands of years the various collections will be excavated to teach future humans about the "lost generation" that were humiliated and punished here.
In 2022, the school painted a red border around the perimeter. Students seen "crossing into the badlands" are executed at dawn. Also introduced were exit/entry rules heavily influenced by soviet repression in the Gulags. Russian prison uniforms are preferred by students to what they currently wear (due to incidents of pupils overheating) "The blazers are 100% polyester sourced from Aldi," say the school governors "we buy them all during sale season and use cheap indian labour to sew on the house badges, it makes us look like Hogwarts!"
Prospective students of the school should be aware of CCTV in the lavatory blocks closely monitored at all times by the "establishment". This is to to cut down on incidents of roadmen gathering, vaping, drug use, spell casting and other suspicious activity.
As part of their art program, graffiti dominates on many of the walls. Art includes male genitalia, violent language, opinions of teaching staff and "Tick if you're bored" interactive art installations. Experts believe that in thousands of years the various collections will be excavated to teach future humans about the "lost generation" that were humiliated and punished here.
Person 1: "Hey fam, you go to St Ivo Academy?"
Person 2: "Yeah blud"
Person 1: "How da fuck you make it out alive every day?"
Person 2: " On my e-scooter, but i'm close to throwing myself off the top of the science block...."
Person 2: "Yeah blud"
Person 1: "How da fuck you make it out alive every day?"
Person 2: " On my e-scooter, but i'm close to throwing myself off the top of the science block...."
by RoadmanIvo April 30, 2022
A survival guide; starting your day via the basketball courts, beware the health & safety police dressed as traffic cones. All traffic cones must be greeted with “good morning” while you are surveyed for uniform violations. One morning a week students assemble outside for ‘morning address’ while being instructed by the school poetry society about respect and how not to be lazy. Hardcore weed smoker or vaper? Head on over to the basketball courts at breaktime to find your fellow roadmen, they always like new members to their exclusive club. Be warned, you will be expected to form a squid game of Nokia snake as you queue for the canteen at lunchtime and should you make the last level, the final boss will perform another uniform check before allowing entry to get your gruel.
Taking your exams soon? Watch out for the crusty invigilators who are trained to shout at students and expect everyone to cheat. Need the toilet on breaks? Don’t sneak in to out-of-bound toilets for your year group, you might just have iron shackles around your ankles while you’re frog-marched past your mates on the way to detention.
Taking your exams soon? Watch out for the crusty invigilators who are trained to shout at students and expect everyone to cheat. Need the toilet on breaks? Don’t sneak in to out-of-bound toilets for your year group, you might just have iron shackles around your ankles while you’re frog-marched past your mates on the way to detention.
Person 1: "You still go to St Ivo Academy ?"
Person 2: "Yup, just doing my time until I can get a job at maccies"
Person 2: "Yup, just doing my time until I can get a job at maccies"
by RoadmanIvoAgain June 11, 2022