2)Just beef that is slippy like a bannana skin or something.
*wife walks in*
"Oh sweet mother of beef!, what have you done to Mr Snuffles!?"
*husband thinks of some slippy beef (thinks of a lie)*
"Seriously dear he had a heart attack, I heard him squealing and I came in as fast as I could, but Chuck Norris had already escaped!!"
*wife obviously thinks he's lost the plot*