| 1. | Sister Wives | ||
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The worst show on television glorifying "crazy ass" ( technical term) Mormons in polygamist relationships. John Smith the creator of the Mormon religion was visited by an angel, "who revealed the location of a buried book of golden plates as well as other artifacts, including a breastplate and a set of silver spectacles with lenses composed of seer stones". The golden plates, artifacts, breastplate and silver spectacles (with seer stone lenses, of course!) vanished but now we have a new religion which allows members of the church to reproduce at high rates by marrying 4 or more women and having 1 to 6 children per wife. In short "sister wives" is defined as a show depicting the insanity of an occult. If i was sister wives - ing it up id never have to cook, do laundry, or anything other than hook up with chicks on the daily
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| 2. | Sister Wives | ||
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Another failure of a show in TLC's seemingly infinite army of disliked television programs. Sister Wives follows the daily life of a family (notice this is the same boring recurring theme for TLC) composed of four wives, countless children we can only help but feel sorry for, and the husband/father, Kody, who you may think is privileged for having so many wives, but in reality would be lucky to even have his warts infested penis touched by one of his either fat or ugly wives. Any courageous viewer is tortured with many antagonizing questions like: why would any woman submit herself and her children to such a degrading lifestyle? (to which the answer may vary: 1 the woman is too lazy to work and support herself and her kids and buys a quick ticket to financial support from Kody, 2 the woman just wants to be famous and on one of the worst TV shows since ever, or 3 yes, there ARE some retarded women that support polygamy), how are the children going to turn out? (to which there is only one answer: just as fucked up as their parents), and how can a family more populous than China afford a semi-mansion and more food than Half-Ton Dad and Half-Ton Mom (you guessed it - more TLC failures) are capable of eating? (to which the answer no one knows but to which everyone hopes Uncle Sam will force them into bankruptcy and end the viewers' pain.) I banged up my knee pretty good last night, so I decided to watch Sister Wives and endure the mental torture to take away the pain from my knee.
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| 3. | Hife | ||
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A Helper Wife: noun
A close nonsexual relationship between two adult females ( who are usually either mothers or wives ) who help each other with household chores and errand running and child care. This relationship is similar to that of sister wives , it has all of the benefits without the jealousy,social taboos and illegality of polygamy. John: Explain to me again how this Hife thing works.
Mary: Its just like a domestic engineering co-op or having sister wives but we all get our own husbands and homes. |
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| 4. | New Jersey House Wives | ||
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1.A TV reality show about 5 rich women in New Jersey. Caroline--the Boss, Dina-- the hot sister, Jacqueline-- the nice one and sister-in-law of Caroline and Dina, Teresa-- the friend with the mafia-looking husband and Danielle--the whore with all the drama. 2.Women who live in really really big houses and have possible mafia connections. However, they deny all allegations. 3. A group of rich Jersey women Hey did you catch NEW JERSEY HOUSE WIVES last night?! Caroline is a bad-ass and I think Danielle is afraid of her.
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| 5. | gene pool monopoly | ||
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When one's family tree resembles a straight line - there is a clearly defined line running down to up but nothing much intersecting to provide movement to the left or right. This phenomenon is most commonly observed in eastern Utah and parts of the Deep South - those other pockets do exist. Dude, welcome to Utah County, home of the Sister Wives. Hey, I might be a redneck, but even I'm not down with gene pool monopoly. Get me the hell out of this Truman Show.
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| 6. | Getting Polygy With It | ||
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The act of having multiple wives. I couldn't decide who to date, so I decided to just start getting polygy with it and go for a train of sister-wives.
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| 7. | Brother-Husbands | ||
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When more than one man is married to one woman at the same time, the men are brother husbands; the men are usually bisexual and the woman is straight. There are also Sister-Wives; in this case, the women are bisexual and the man is straigt. You can have as many brother-husbans or sister-wives as you want. Tom and Bryan are both married to Katie! Tom and Bryan are Brother-Husbands!
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