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shitistics 

calculating the mass of someones life time shit production based on their diet and health
Well... I know a man his age (76) should have produced about 24,320lbs (11,030 kg) of shit in his lifetime so far. If we convert those 76 years into days we have 27759 days. Now it is normal and healthy to have a bowel movement anywhere between three times a week to three times a day, but my dad always ate dinner at the same time and used the bathroom approximately once a day. Therefore we can conclude that he has shat approximately 27759 times in his lifetime, maybe a little less or a little more. If we divide those 24,320lbs he has dropped in his lifetime with the days he has lived, we should get 0,87lbs which is 0,39kg and therefore we can take a guess and say that his last shit weighted about 0,87 pounds or 0,39kg. Now the average weight of a human log is around 1/4 of a pound to 1 pound (or 0,11kg to 0,45kg). With this information we can tell that the turd was a little on the skinny side but he is healthy and probably doing well. This is shitistics.
shitistics by wanwanwan September 21, 2022
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Shitfisted 

the act of putting your hand in your dirty, nasty ass crack and then shaking hands with someone you do not like.
i had a meeting job meeting with some guys i did not like, so i shitfisted them all.
Shitfisted by devilace July 24, 2009
Related Words
Damn, look at that shiista!
or
Mr. M is such a shiista!
shiista by Regina March 11, 2005

stifistify 

when a guy is getting ready to fuck some girl hard core lolz
wait a second while i take my pants off and stifistify...
stifistify by mariah and moire August 15, 2007

shitistics 

The mathematical process by which one or a group measures the quality and size of their shits. A way to compare shits between competing friends/enemies. There is an average shit for humanity, as taken by Jesus Christ unto St. Peter's face (the Holy Shit), and shits greater than or less than the Holy Shit is measured by standard deviation in terms of chippermonkeys. Shitistics apply to size, girth, smell, denisty, color, and toilet clogging ability. Shitistics are measured by a neutral arbiter in a "who took the biggest shit" dispute.
Jason: Shit dude, I took a huge shit this morning.

Matt: What are the shitistics you shithead?

Jason: Size: 1.2 chippermonkeys, Girth: 3.8 chippermonkeys, Smell: 2.8 chippermonkeys, Density: -1.9 chippermonkeys, Color: 0.2 chippermonkeys, Toilet Clogging: 10.0 chippermonkeys.

Matt: I guess thats a decent shit.

Jason: Shit, I had to buy new socks.

Matt: Tell Craig to come measure the shitistics on the deuce I just dropped.
shitistics by Cream Puff69 October 13, 2012

shitfister 

One who fists in the ass, especially after ones partner has not wiped after a shit
That Underwood is a real shitfister
shitfister by gek of Arabia October 9, 2004

Shitistist 

To be in a state of "I doesn't care"
I am feeling so shitistist right now
Shitistist by Saiiiikkk November 14, 2019