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1.
When someone gets a substantial amount of sand in their ass-crack, they transform into a Sand Zombie. Sand Zombies are often found at beaches that are set up for bonfires, because many people gather around the warm fire and sit down in the sand, leaving there ass-cracks exposed to Zombie infection. The Sand Zombie spores fester mostly in pot-head teenagers, because they can't remember to clean out their ass-cracks. The mating ritual of the Sand Zombie begins with the mating calls. When the female Sand Zombie is ready to mate, she announces it by throat singing, followed by loudly asking,

"May I borrow your lighter?"

If there are any male Sand Zombies in the area, they will reply with,

"Only if you suck my dick."

So Begins the Sand Zombie Mating ritual. The Mating itself involves a lot of name-calling, biting, and of course, lots of ass-sand.

To avoid becoming a Sand Zombie, remember to clean out your sandy ass-crack regularly, and avoid situations that your ass could get really sandy in.
*In the distance*

*"CAN I BORROW YOUR LIGHTER?!?!"*

Guy 1: Dude, we better get out of here, I think that was a Sand Zombie!!

Guy 2: Hell yeah, lets beat it!
by noobifier2000 January 24, 2011