The young people of Salisbury can be divided into three main groups: pikeys, squaddies and the posh kids.
Salisbury's pikeys are the most visible group, usually seen roaming the town in packs. They are indigenous to the Friary and Bemerton Heath, but are known to go to McDonalds and Burger King in order to feed. Other popular points of congregation include Tesco Metro, Poundland and the Library Steps.
The squaddies are usually only visible on Saturday nights, trying to pick up 18-year-old posh girls in Whiterooms and fighting each other and pikeys. The rest of the week they are busy invading Third World nations, shooting people and feeling good about themselves for it.
The posh kids spend most of their time either at one of the town's two grammar schools or at one of the copious private schools. At these institutions they learn how to vote for the Conservative Party as well as the art of banter. In their spare time they drink tea in Starbucks or Nero, or smoke undersized spliffs in the Cathedral Close. At the age of 18 or 19, almost all posh kids emigrate to "classier" (read: preppier) locales such as Oxford, Cambridge and Exeter. The Guild Hall Steps are a meeting point for posh kids with identity crises and lack of direction in life.
Most BADMANS hang out at the guild hall and smoke weed and play. They dont care about college and education as they are SALISBURY 2011 REPRESENTS. All they do is go to crap gigs and listen to crap music by 'I Met Nature' and 'Bury the Betrayer'
Badman 1 (around 24) : yooo blud you got a quid i can nick for some baccy init?
Nerdy kid (around 10): no mr badman i dont.. do you not work?
Badman 2: yeah he does cuzzzyyyyyy he is lyk a FULL TIME BADMAN init.
Nerdy kid: you too are just salisbury fagss.. you probably suppport that i met nature band..
*BADMANS runs to the guild hall and tell all of his mosher friends to beat nerdy kid up :( *
Salisbury is a city with a population of more than 2 million Indians and Polish which results in the city centre it having more curry houses,shit drug dealers and smelly prostitutes per square kilometre (k m-2) in the world. Every summer the population doubles as all Polish take extended holidays in Salisbury and they somehow set up shops like ‘Barvish ,Snip , chick-o-land and Charlies Store’
Salisbury is not just famous for their musical talents, but also their famous for their comedy acts. ‘I met nature’ Started as a ‘Grimecore’ band under the name of bleeding cunt , however they turned to a comedy act which can seen every night at british legion as no one would give them a record deal. Brook Laing is the local Wolverine in the mosh pits, and has a forehead brimming with musical talent. He is currently lead vocalist for the band ‘past is PROLAPSE’ Other bands include bury the betrayer who labels themselves as pop punk and is similar to McFly.
I would but only Dakota skyline and I met nature are playing tonight:(
Local band ‘bury the betrayer’ put the BURY in to salisBURY wiltshire
I love salisbury wiltshire
The City Centre is best avoided on a tuesday and saturday due to the farmers market (below), mainly because on these days, the whole city centre is overrun by coffin dodgers and the senile, who decide to walk into every other person they see then collapse in a heap.
Apart from the above, Salisbury is a relativly attractive tourist village with a traditional farmers market selling overpriced, overrated and overthehill vegetables and a cathedral that has the tallest spire in europe and was built by eastern-europeans in 2005.
BadMan2 "nah blud they charge too much, jst get a korma insted
BadMan1 "Its lucky we live in Salisbury Wiltshire"
BadMan 2 "brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrratttt TING"