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1.
SERT stands for Special Emergency Response Team.

SERT is what cities besides Portland, Oregon call a SWAT team.

Officials in Portland decided the acronym, SWAT (Special Weapons and Tactics) was too aggressive sounding and changed it to something more hippie-like so as not to offend armed criminals holding people hostage.

No, seriously, it's true.
Portlander 1: "Dude, look, there's the SERT team down the street busting one of the thousands of meth labs here in Portland, Oregon."

Portlander 2: "A SERT? What's a SERT?"

Portlander 1: "It's what Portland calls a SWAT team. Have you forgotten about all of the eco-flowerpower-hippies that run this city?"

Portlander 2: "Oh yeah, I forgot, sorry." *Puts on thick rimmed glasses and heads to Starbucks.*
by Niboomafoo February 03, 2010