Pukes & Dukes is when you are VERY, VERY, VERY sick and you are throwing up, and going number one out your ass at the same time ( liquid shits)
Normally you will need a trash can, sink, bathtub, or shower stall very close to the toilet to avoid a massive clean up in your underpants, flooring or walls.

Avoid laughing, coughing, sneezing, or any other movements that will cause you to un-pucker your rectum because this could lead to a shart.
Man I am soooo sick today, I have the pukes and dukes. I almost shit my pants but I got lucky and snapped up the trash can and sat down.

Ugg... pukes and dukes are the worst, nothing like having it come out of both ends..
by Killentime December 29, 2011
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Puking and duking (shitting at the same time. Typically caused by the flu, food poisoning or one hell of a hangover.
My roommate was so shitfaced last night he’s done nothing but puke n duke today.

I can’t come to work today. I’m sick. You have the flu? Pretty sure caused all I do is puke n duke.
by Eaton Holgoode January 17, 2018
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