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1.
Timing a fake cough in an attempt to audibly mask unavoidable flatus.
Bro 1: "Dude, did you hear? Bill struck out on his date with Jenny."

Bro 2: "No way. What happened?"

Bro 1: "Bad case of Pooping Cough."

Bro 2: "You mean?..."

Bro 1: "Yes, didn't cough loud enough. Dude, I heard he ripped one so loud he fucking levitated like... like fucking David Blane or something!"

Bro 2: "Wow. That's pretty craptastic."

Bro 1: "No, that's an entirely different definition."
by Yoballman May 26, 2010