Skip to main content

thick as two short planks 

an expression defining how stupid someone is; chiefly British.
i.e.: the thickness of two planks of wood stacked one atop the other.
sometimes shortened to "two short planks"
"Whoah, you're thick as two short planks!"
when it hella hot outside (OC Slang)
planky by OC Banger May 24, 2023

duckin planks 

One of the results of playing the "name game" with the popular phrase "fuckin skanks" (from the My New Haircut video).

1. It can be used in place of "fuckin skanks" to reference anyone or anything that sucks or annoys you in the slightest way.
2. It can also be thought of as an image. I particularly enjoy picturing a guy running through a narrow alley with hundreds of people lining the rooftops and throwing 2x4's at him.
"The basalmic vinegar spilled all over our fridge again when the maintenance guy moved it to fix the outlet." "Ah, duckin planks."

"The halloween party was pretty cool, all the girls were dressed like duckin planks."

"Holy shit! I'm duckin planks!"
duckin planks by skanketeer March 14, 2009

Planksgiving 

Bobo drank a gallon of rum and tried to start a mutiny this Planksgiving, so the captain made him stumble the plank.
Planksgiving by HumaneAnimal November 11, 2017
Hey you wanna buy some planks?.. 3 for 10?
planks by nemizis November 21, 2007
The clever combination of the words Please and Thanks. Often used after the realisation that you forgot to say please in the first place. Planks has nothing to do with planking.
"Hey mate, pass me the bong"
(Mate passes bong)
"Planks mate"
Planks by V man #1 May 30, 2013