Similar to the endangered ginger Sumatran primate, the Orang-eapron is a near-humanoid species whose herds congregate in large out of town DIY warehouses. Possessing only rudimentary language skills, the Orang-eapron are slowly evolving and in some parts of the world are learning to use tools.
After forty-five years loyal service at the bank, Bert left on a bleak Friday afternoon with a tear in his eye and a carriage clock in his briefcase. Within two weeks, bored off his tits, he'd been recruited as an Orang-eapron and spent his days misdirecting customers and giving bad advice on home improvements. All at unbeatable prices.
by The Brown Piper April 24, 2007