Ontarian

Inhabitant of the province of Ontario in the country of Canada. Home to the biggest city in the nation (Toronto). Typically, Ontarians have a rivalry with Quebecois in many aspects of life. Naturally, the most important is the rivalry between the two hockey teams Toronto Maple Leafs and Montreal Canadiens. Ontarian education is quite complicated in the eyes of next-door Quebecois, with students attending something before Kindergarten called Junior Kindergarten. Students only graduate elementary school in this province in the eighth grade at the age of fourteen as apposed to the age of twelve in Quebec and graduate from high school at the age of eighteen. Ontarians like to promote their province on television throughout the rest of the country and boast about their home, which consists mostly of trees, rocks and dirt. When defending their province, they also like to claim they speak French and therefore this makes them special, when, in reality, they could care less about French unless it will be beneficial in making themselves sound sophisticated. Their sense of humor and social skills are generally limited. In order to purchase beer, they must drive to the nearest Ontario Liquor Control Board rather than simply walking to the depanneur.

Ontarian 1: Would you pick up some beer for tonight?

Ontarian 2: Sure, I will drive over to the Ontario Liquor Control Board and see if they are open. I should be back in about forty-five minutes if I can avoid traffic.

by mousselinelaserieuse March 26, 2011