look up any word, like blumpkin:
 
53.
A nice country, made up of two main islands (the North, and South island, unoriginal, I know). It is a very green place, and yes, it has alot of sheep.

As far as I can see, it is not as beautiful as it is made out to be, but since I live in New Zealand, I am used to it, and don't know much better.

It does have beautiful forests, but the countryside is mostly farm areas.

It has the highest rate of youth suicide in the world.

On the plus side, Wellington (the capital city) has one of the largest number of restaurants per head in the world!

We do not actually hate Aussies, some people sometimes mock Aussies, in one way or another, but hardly any of them are serious.

I have yet to meet an incredibly racist person living in New Zealand.

Well, if you aren't very used to alot of green, then New Zealand is definately for you, and by the way, in the 80's we were incredibly backward, but now I'd say we are fine.

Oh, and if you are going to go to New Zealand, make sure you go in the summer, it can get quite wet and rainy in the winter (and incredibly windy if you go to Wellington) (for all you people in the US, your winter = our summer).

Places I reccomend:

I'd suggest you go to Auckland (the largest city in New Zealand), but not for too long as you run out of things to do very quickly.

Martinborough, in February, or March, so you can catch the Martinborough fair, which is quite nice, and you can also check out the vineyards if you have a taste for wine.

Taupo (halfway up the North Island), as it has a very nice active volcanic lake, which gets very warm.

Wellington (capital city), as you can see Parliament (what with its Beehive building (which although original,I fell is very ugly)), and the museum, which has a very nice history of New Zealand.

And in the South Island:

You should check out the Frans Josef glacier (but only if you haven't seen any glaciers before).

Queenstown, which is a great place for adventure sports, there are some quite nice skiing areas too (if you go in the winter).

Christchurch, which is also a big city in New Zealand, but not as big as most other big cities in other parts of the world.

You should also check out all the various nature walks, which are really beautiful, and are the best ways to experiance the nature in New Zealand first hand.

New Zealand would be a great place to move to for retirement, as it is quite laid back. New Zealand doesn't run much risk of terrorism, or nuclear war, as New Zealand is quite small and insignificant, and most people don't even know where it is.

As for living there, it's a great place for farming, if that's what you want to do.

The houses can be quite expensive, and I'd suggest you buy an old house, as some of the new ones can be quite small and ugly.

The TV is okay, you don't get the luxury of getting 100's of channels if you get cable, or sattelite, but you get enough, and anyway, in New Zealand you are far more likely to be out doing things instead of staying indoors, watching TV.

I would not suggest New Zealand for University.

The Primary and Secondrary schools are of a decent standard, not as strict as the schools in other parts of the world, unless you go to a private school, which is definately the way to go if you happen to have the money for it.

The New Zealand dollar is pretty weak vs other currencies, but it is rising, so things imported from other parts of the world can be quite expensive.

New Zealand is also becoming a very popular place to film movies, after the recent success of the Lord of the Rings (a bit over rated if you ask me, Peter Jacksons earlier films (the far more violent ones) are much better in my opinion).

So I would recomend it for a holiday only for those who really appreciate nature in all its glory, as it is hard to find places in the world as green as New Zealand.
Non New Zealander tourist: New Zealand looks like quite a nice country, I think I may go there some time.
New Zealander: Sure, it's quite a nice place, maybe you should do that.
Non New Zealander tourist: Okay....I will then.
by Ian Lambie March 02, 2006
48 133
 
1.
An insignificant group of islands in the South Pacific inhabited by 55 million sheep, 4.5 million of which think they are human.
American: "Are you British?"
New Zealander: "Nah mate, I'm from New Zealand."
American: *blank stare*

English bartender: "What's it to be guv?"
New Zealander: "A pint of lager thanks."
English bartender: "I see your cricketers beat us in the Ashes again."
by Dunners_boi October 04, 2010
1976 231
 
2.
New Zealand

A land full of xenophobic, bad driving, stupid, one eyed, selfish, deluded, aussie hating twats.
The country is quite nice but none of the New Zealanders have any clue about it they all want to get out and go on ther OE. Once on their OE they rarely return because there is not work and any work there is will be better paid elsewhere.
'I live in a beautiful country full of friendly people here in New Zealand' !! yeah right it has the highest sucide rate of teenagers. A huge drug and alcohol problem. High chest problems because they live in wooden houses with poor heating. I rains constanly hence a green land under a long white cloud.
by 12345 lets go May 05, 2011
1656 180
 
3.
A crappy country where people are either idiotic risk takers like bungee jumpers or country hicks (most of the population), animals ruining scenery or causing roadblocks, nothing to praise but scenery, much of which is boring & repetitive, constant rain, constant freak weather nowadays, little American influence, everyone's so British even though it's not a British country anymore and hasn't been for a long time, everyone and everything seems strange down there, everything's expensive, not much to do, etc. Australia's a lot better
"Dude I'm going to New Zealand"
"Have you lost your mind?"
by danthompson September 24, 2011
1665 192
 
4.
hey everyone leave new zealand alone, its a nice caring country that loves everyone. sure we may not be sophisticated or smart or diverse, but we make do with what we`ve got/. i myself am a plumber, my weekly pay packet is enough to feed my family of sheep and to buy a brush to keep the wool out of my eyes. i love new zealand. sometimes i stand on the west coast and cock my ear over towards them aussies to see if theyre talking about us lol but they never talk about us, i dont think theyre even aware that we exist. i love aussies. i wished i could hire a tug boat to tow new zealand across the tasman and join it onto the east coast of australia, then i`ll be able to sleep soundly at night knowing that i`m finally home. thankyou australia from the bottom of my heart.
please mrs helen clarke make new zealand an australian state.
by growingpains August 06, 2006
1478 131
 
5.
Country east of Australia, extending slightly further south than the Australian island of Tasmania. Has an extremely overrated reputation, especially for its physical beauty,
most likely spread by NZers themselves. To hear them speak you'd never know any other country has snow-capped mountains, beaches or fiords. In reality,
it's cities are uninspiring and boring, the landscape is monotonous, it has been horrible deforested, and all that green you see is sheep and dairy pastures, which are very hard on the land. There are mountains in the south, but the lanscape there is nothing compared to many other places in the world, for example southern Patagonia, which extends much further south and is much closer to Antarctica, a fact which would likely be a surprise to most NZers, as they believe they are furthest south. They may not teach much geography there, which would account for their thinking of their country as somehow special.
Very nice beaches, and there are lots of them.

Government: Not a democracy. Led by the ugliest head of state in the world (Helen Clarke). Now there's a superlative that is actually true! Horribly bloated government. MPs take the people's money and live the good life, robbing the citizens of the social services they should be getting. Probably way more corrupt than anyone is willing to admit.

Education: A University education is very expensive and not subsidized by the government, except as low interest loans. Despite a hugely taxed populace, the government provides no real financial aid for University.

Language: Extreme accent. Hard to listen to, hard to understand. Their language is peppered with Australian slang. Hardly any of it is homegrown.

Quality of life: Unless you are rich you can expect: A really small house, usually extremely ugly, unless it's old. No air conditioning. No central heating. No fly screens. Hardly any channels on the TV, unless you get Sky TV, then you pay for hardly any channels. Food is of extremely limited variety. The meat is sometimes of exceptionally poor quality, often tough and tasteless. It's the luck of the draw. Hardly any variety of vegetables. Awful bread. If you love to cook and try new things, would be hard place to live in. The standard size refrigerators are very small compared to the US. So are stoves and ovens. Unless you want to pay alot of money, you cannot own a clothes dryer.
HAS THE HIGHEST CELL PHONE RATES IN THE WORLD.
All electronics are extremely expensive, so you have to make a good salary to enjoy modern technology. Unless you want to pay too much, forget about a really big tv. DVDs are expensive, and there's a limited range.
Salaries are lower than other western countries, and the mostly imported goods are more expensive. The clothes is expensive and it's hard to find non polyester blend items at a reasonable cost.
Unless you pay top dollar, the utility company may turn off your hot water, without warning you first!
Toilets are often kept in narrow rooms, apart from bath or shower, sometimes without enough room for a washbasin.
The only large bookstore in the entire Auckland area is Borders, a recent American import.
Rugby mania is so prevalent, it gives the place an odd feel, as if it really were a caricature of itself.

Governement services: Bloated welfare system, most everything else neglected and substandard.

Diversity of Population: Not really. Lots of Polynesian and Asians, a smattering of Brits and South Africans, and the occasional Eastern European.
The Americas, North and South, have hardly a presence there. Very few Africans.

Auckland: The most boring large city in the world, which is not surprising, being that it's in the most boring country in the world. Culturally backward, like the rest of the country. No particularly interesting architecture. No rich cultural life. Quite dirty and unsafe in it's southern suburbs. Some streets there strongly recall streets in third world countries.

Housing: Has some of the ugliest domestic architecture in the Western World. Older homes are charming enough, but anything built after around 1940 will be ugly as sin, and really small. Unless you're rich. Then it will probably be ugly too, but at least it will be bigger.
Most people do not have attics or basements, so no place to keep your stuff.

Internet: Because posting things to NZ from the outside world costs so much, wonderful things like eBay and Amazon
are virtually unknown here. Online trading sites within the country are a Mickey Mouse version of eBay.

Shopping: Most stores close by 6:00, including shopping malls, and home improvement and hardware stores (except for one day a week). This includes weekends. There are a few exceptions, and they're always full of customers until late.

Wood products are extremely expensive, so people commonly own cheap looking stuff. Kitchen cabinets are made of the same cheap materials used in dentists offices and vet clinics in the US.

Health care: A travesty. Long waiting lists for both routine and necessary procedures. Probably worse than Britain.

Attitude: Racist all around, make up for it with a nauseating PC attitude. Make a bit deal out of "Kiwi ingenuity." What this really means is they have so little in the country, they've often had to make do and improvise.
Terrible and embarrassing inferiority complex.

Country has not progressed much in the last 30 years or so. As the modern Western world is a more comfortable place, full of affordable high end goods, this country is trapped in time, for all the wrong reasons.
Many NZers leave and live in Australia, which is quite understandable.

Culture: TV, slang, dress, etc. all come from Australia.

Media: Few TV channels, substandard newspapers. To get well written intelligent news, must read the foreing papers. NY Times is not really available. Might find an a copy several weeks old selling in the airport for around $12.00 US.
I live in New Zealand, so I should know.
by t. russell rex January 12, 2006
1594 274
 
6.
country voted to have the least sexy accent in the world. the men's voices sound as if their voice box has been pushed to the back of their neck.

the people of new zealand get upset easily. they will often try to start fights, especially with australians who just laugh and wonder why new zealanders get so angry.

the reason new zealanders get angry is because it is a matriachal society and women are hypnotised by a small group of women to never have sex. the reason for this is power of course, but it has nasty side effects - everyone knows that a man who doesn't get any, is irritable and tries to pick fights with their neighbours.

the only men that do get sex, are the sons of the abovementioned small group of women, and they are fucked by their mothers from a young age. these guys are extremely proud as you can see from a lot of the posts here. just walk the streets of a new zealand city any time and you'll know what i mean.
australian tourist in new zealand: excuse me, sorry to bother you. do you have the time?

new zealander: the time? what the fuck did you say to me? new zealand would waste australia.

tourist: *sigh*
by Jed Sanders February 05, 2008
1431 121
 
7.
(proper) noun.

A mythical place in the southern Pacific Ocean made of clouds, that was invented by Australians.

Legends that ascribe "New Zealand" to be the birthplace of a variety of Australian celebrities, including Ernest Rutherford, Edmund Hillary, Burt Munro, Russell Crowe, Keith Urban and Sonny Bill Williams, can be traced back to early social engineering attempts undertaken by radical left-wing political movements that are also responsible for a once widely circulated urban myth: that the British couldn't conquer "New Zealand" and so had to sign treaties with the original inhabitants.
Various popular musical bands also claim to be "from New Zealand", such as Crowded House, Fat Freddy's Drop and Flight of the Conchords, though this is usually not part of a crazy belief system, but a clever marketing ploy.
The famous poet and philosopher, Munter, sometimes describes his ancestry as originating in "New Zealand", though this is usually a reference to his earlier work where he disproved the theory of epiphenomenalism.

see also: New Zealander adjective derrog..
Rugby players that happen to be drunkards, sheep molesters and adults that have difficulty with shoes, as depicted in the Australian historical docu-drama "Footrot Flats", are also frequently referred to as New Zealanders.
High School Student (drunk): 'Wun ee grew oop, ee winna bi uhn Oozie, eh bro, ow'.

Teacher: 'Don't give up Jerome; you're nearly ready for crayons...baby steps...and please, just call me "Miss"; it will more than double your productivity rate'.

High School Student: 'Oo kah eh bro, noo woories ow bro, jest coz oo cull mi uh New Zealander, yis or stull oolright, yeh Oz- ut's chooiice izzzz, eh? Ow.'

Teacher: 'Any more talk of this, "New Zealand" nonsense, and I'll have you banned from Rugby'.

High School Student: 'Chooiice izzz broo'
by slotharisor July 28, 2010
1396 129