Neophonic Virgin 

A person who has never owned a mobile telephone of the most current generation. Types or defining characteristics of neophonic virgin tend to be non-youthful (old people), poor, or Luddites (see unabomber).

Jon Doe: "I'm never getting an Android phone, I hear they're hard to use and my friend says he keeps hitting buttons in the middle of calls when he holds it to his ear."

Don Joe: "You're just a neophonic virgin. We gotta pop your cherry and get you a myTouch. Androids are awesome. Also, your friend just has a fat f#@%ing face."

Neophonic Virgin by Ziegegeist January 5, 2011