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1.
Navy Marine Corps Intranet. The worst fucking bastards in the whole military. A bunch of cunts. Queers. The nerdiest pieces of shit you will ever meet. The people you stuffed in lockers back in high school. Normally they hire child molesters. They often jerk off eachother in circle jerks.
NMCI is a bunch of cockholsters.
by CplJabroni December 21, 2006
267 122
 
2.
Navy Marine Corps Intranet. Affectionately known as "Non Mission Capable Internet". Its the most half assed contracted organization that has ever been conceived, next to SPAWAR. At least SPAWAR has the competence over that of a 7 year old. The most glichiest and back dated software known to man. It tends to half load web pages 99% of the time and is no where near dependable. It epically fails in speed and dependability. It tends to give 2-3 randomly pointless updates a day that forces you to stop your work to reboot your computer. It wont even allow you to view videos on the whitehouse.gov website. For some reason a recent software update makes you wait and wait and wait to the point you pray that a pointless box pops up with a link for you to click on to log off. What happened to the simple start/shutdown/log off option and go about your way? Wait, that would make too much sense because its NMCI.
"Help desk how may I help you?", semi irate serviceman with a lieutenant commander up his ass because a program was erased to do his job of severe importance, "Yes, Hi. Last night it seems some mandatory Adobe Reader update issued by NMCI has gone and updated on my computer ERASING my Adobe Pro software.". "Ok, Ill submit a trouble call." "That would be fantastic as I need to have my work done like, yesterday." "We'll get someone out there as soon as we can". "How long?" "1-3 days sir." "<sigh> Ok." 2 weeks later, "Help desk how may I help you?" "Yea, I submitted a trouble call two weeks ago for a software fix on my computer..." "Would you like me to submit a trouble call?" ...FML.
by remmy123 May 22, 2010
70 16
 
3.
Navy Marine Corps Intranet. Military contract run by EDS who was recently bought by HP. General customers include Navy and Marine assholes too fucking dumb to figure out basic computer use. They generally hire quality employees but have a high turnover due to the horrid task of having to deal with the worst and most incompetent our military has to offer. Which is sometimes a step below the general population of a Federal Prison.
When you are in the Navy and too dumb to wipe your own ass much less use a computer you call NMCI a lot to get help.
by nmcidude May 21, 2008
64 173