Monkeyitis 

Noun - Pathology.

A reoccurring ailment characterized by the attraction to members of the opposite sex who are not available for a relationship.

Also noted for its incredible difficulty to be cured.

Origin - 2000s; English: Monkey + itis.

"What happened to that girl you liked?"

"Yeah, well, it was going well until 'Monkeyitis' struck again"

"Ah shit man, that's tough".

Monkeyitis by Monkey1991 December 27, 2009

Monkeyfisting 

The act of shitting in one's hand and making a fist. Then proceeding to shove one's fist in their partner's rectum

Chad and I enjoy a good monkeyfisting every night.

Monkeyfisting by Zomboy595 December 23, 2016

mondayitis 

Call it what you want, but "Mondayitis" is a feeling of weariness, sadness, apathy and general distress that many individuals feel when starting the Monday morning work week. This feeling is usually enhanced after a large weekend.

Boss: "good morning, looking a little worse for wear whats wrong?"

Worker: "Got a case of Mondayitis"

mondayitis by Domin8or December 18, 2007

hairy monkeyvitis 

a female condition in which her pubic hair grows back thicker almost instantly after removal.

Did you see her bikini line? She must suffer from hairy monkeyvitis.
Dang bruh! My girl just got waxed and her vagina is already on teen wolf. She's got hairy monkeyvitis.

hairy monkeyvitis by CoCo Butta 83 June 22, 2011

Mondayitis 

Only contractable on a Monday working week, this pandemic has been observed worldwide and syptoms usually include : being mentally and physically unfit, a generall fatigue, failure to ' call in ' .

Boss : " Hey where's joe ? "

Co-Worker : " He's got Mondayitis "

Mondayitis by UsernameAlreadyTaken November 17, 2014

mondayitis 

The seemingly contaigous disease that effects people on Mondays. Symptoms include not showing up for work or even calling in, usually triggered by over celebrating Sunday Funday. Home cures include late night breakfastses, sleeping late and half-hearted pledges of sobriety. Usually lasts until Friday Eve.

whenever i celebrate sunday funday, i usually end up with a bad case of mondayitis!

mondayitis by duffball October 22, 2009

Monkeyfishing 

To write a story on a web site (the more respectable and prominent the better) that is complete and abject bullshit. From a famous incident involving Slate magazine where a writer wrote a story positing a sport involving fishing rods, oranges and simians, and (surprise!) it all turned out to be fabricated.

Obama is really the love child of Raquel Welch and Sammy Davis Junior? Interesting theory, but I think you're monkeyfishing.

Monkeyfishing by Odgred Weary October 20, 2010