Caltech Student: Woah you clearly have problems! We just handed out T-shirts and called you "That other institute of technology" as a form of legitimate free speech. You guys on the other hand responded by stealing our cannon, which is illegal and goes against the seventh commandment. We have a simple honor code while you guys need a sophisticated computer network, frat parties, and prestige just to feel safe and socially accepted. Have you any decency left?
I'm going to cross-register at MIT to get away from you assholes.