MIDWTF 

stands for mother i don't want to fuck, usually used in reference to a friends mother that is just not pretty, older, etc

Jeff: No offense, but that is one MIDWTF

MIDWTF by Hannah V.D. April 12, 2008

Call the Midwife 

A BBC period drama series about a group of nurse midwives working in the East End of London in the 1950s and 1960s

I'm chillin out and next thing I know, somebody's screaming in agony in the other room. I walk over to see what's up and I say to my lady friend "Hey! Its that show where somebody's giving birth every 5 minutes" . She says "Yup! I'm watching Call the Midwife again"

Call the Midwife by you_say_what_now? March 4, 2016

midwf 

Mother I don't want to fuck

Wow, all those wrinkles, i heard she had a wizards sleeve, she's a midwf

midwf by sickstrings8 February 4, 2010

midwife 

A person, usually a woman, who is trained to assist women in childbirth.

I'm so glad that my midwife helped me while I was in labor.

midwife by some crackhead December 30, 2005

The Joys of Midwife Beating 

Before you join our little club, you cannot beat midwives with impunity.

If we allow you to join and induct you, you will be granted your Totin Chip, whereby you may beat midwives with impunity. Reducing their faces to rubble and hamburger.

It's a guy thing.

The Joys of Midwife Beating make the world a sunny place!

The Joys of Midwife Beating by Jacques Asse December 28, 2009

Midwife Crisis 

The act of dropping a newborn on its head shortly after birth.

Please direct your thoughts and prayers to little Jimmy, Nurse Butterfingers had a midwife crisis.

Midwife Crisis by Aaron Gibbs September 11, 2007

Mexican Midwife 

When taking a dump with a turd half-way in and half-way out, flush the toilet and have the suction pull the rest of the turd out of you like a midwife delivering a baby.

It was a hard shit until I used the Mexican Midwife.

Mexican Midwife by The Gooch2 January 28, 2009